Posts in life
Your Biggest Regrets
life regrets

What's your biggest regret? 

A chalkboard was set up in the middle of New York City asking passersby to write down their biggest regrets. As the board filled up, the filmmakers noticed that all of these responses had one alarming thing in common. Do the things you'll regret not doing.

More common life regrets from the blackboard: 

  • Not saying "yes" to things.
  • Being too afraid of failure.
  • Wasting time. 
  • Not going after your dreams.
  • Not keeping in touch with friends.
  • Not finding the time.
  • Just doing plan B.
  • Staying in your comfort zone.
  • Not pursuing your career.
  • Not getting involved.
  • Not speaking your mind.
  • Not following your dreams.

The moral of the story is to treat every day as a clean slate. Do the things you'll regret not doing. 

Take a moment today to jot down your own regrets. Life goes by quickly, consider doing something different today to put you in the right direction. We all need to aim to reduce our regrets. What are you going to do?

A Misidentified Shooting

Let me begin by explaining that I do not work in the film industry, nor do I shoot animals. Having come from Toronto, it's hard not to have learned a thing or two about how movies are made. I expect coming from Nashville; most natives know enough about hunting (whether they do it or not). 

In the film industry, Toronto is known as Hollywood North. At any given moment, you can see multiple film shoots occurring. The city can easily be transformed to resemble New York or Chicago because of the similar architecture. Filmmakers get a nice tax break, and that weak Canadian dollar helps seal the deals too. Chicago, the movie, was filmed in Toronto. 

After I returned to Toronto from backpacking Europe, I worked nights and some days at an international youth hostel. I intended to meet fellow backpackers but also save enough money to return to Ireland for a year (which I did, and then some). 

I used to work Saturday or Sunday mornings at the hostel. If things were slow and we had vacancies, I would drive to the local bus station to find international backpackers arriving. I would happily approach them, show them fliers for the hostel, and give them a free ride if they needed one. Most people eagerly took me up on the offer.

Officers swarmed out of nowhere with their guns drawn!

Photo from Flickr by dtstuff9. 

Photo from Flickr by dtstuff9

I clearly remember one Saturday morning as I waited for future hostel guests to arrive at the bus station. The sky was blue, and the sun shone brightly at the busy downtown intersection. Suddenly, unmarked police cars swarmed the streets. Undercover officers swarmed out of nowhere with guns drawn at a man crossing the road. They each yelled, "Get down with your hands up!" The bad guy dropped to his knees; he knew they had him captured. There was no point in resisting or trying to escape. 

As a Toronto native, I knowingly glanced around for the cameras. Yep, I spotted it. A large crane was at the corner with a camera facing down on the scene below. An action-filled shot like that was presumably a major scene of the film. The director yelled, "Back to ones, people", and they began to shoot it again - and again and again. 

Each time the police takedown began, unsuspecting pedestrians would duck for cover thinking it was all real. The pedestrians were usually weary travelers having just stepped foot into Toronto from hours of travel. Welcome to Hollywood North. Soon after they learned it was a film shoot, the embarrassed people would laugh about experiencing a staged police takedown, right as they stepped off the bus! Now that is a story to share with your loved ones back home.

The part where I got embarrassed...

When I moved to Nashville, I was taking a walk around the surrounding neighborhoods. As I walked past a house, I saw a man outside in a camouflage jacket and scruffy beard. A large Ford F-150 truck was parked in his driveway with a huge apparatus attached to the trailer. It was a large steel crane that could be elevated with a stand at the top for the camera. I instantly got excited at the thought that movies were being shot in Nashville too. 

I smiled at the man and asked him what he was shooting. He looked dumbfounded and yelled, "Deer!" I could swear he added a "duh" to his reply. When I returned home to Heather, I told her the story. She laughed out loud as she explained what a deer stand was. What I thought was a camera crane was a tripod for hunters to get above their targets to blast them to bits. 

I had misidentified the hunting accessory. At least I was correct about something getting shot from that thing. In my defense, nowadays, many hunters film their victims from their deer (or tree) stands and post them on YouTube. So maybe I wasn't completely wrong. Okay, I was. :) 

Has this ever happened to you? What object did you mistakenly take for something else?

Nashville Snow Dump

I work hard serving my clients, preparing for speaking engagements, and writing. I do my best to spend as much time as possible with my family too. It's exhausting working all of the time. Add in parenting and caring for Max, and well... I'm beat! 

This weekend the plan was to leave our kiddos with my wonderful in-laws, and to head for the hills with Heather. We booked a cabin, fully equiped with a wood-burning fireplace and hot tub. We were overdue for a relaxing weekend unplugged.

When we awoke this morning there was already some accumulation of snow. Winter was (finally) upon us. Friends joke about it because I'm vocal about craving snow this time each year. I get jealous seeing the white stuff in friend's Instagram feeds elsewhere. Today I got what I wanted, but with bad timing. 

4 inches of snow and still falling...

We attempted to drive downtown to drop the kids off, but we never made it. It took us 3 hours to drive 20 miles. We were stuck in standstill traffic along Interstate 40 for 2 hours. As we exited the interstate we got stuck in the snow. Some kind passersby stopped to help push our car. Heather took the wheel, and I joined the good people who were shoving our car forward.

WSMV even caught our antics and we made the news. Our phones were blowing up with texts from our pals who caught us on the news. I made a silly video below to share for your viewing pleasure. We're the gray Highlander. 

As I write this, the snow is still coming down. We have about 4 inches of the white stuff so far, and we expect about four more. Bring it on! 

Be sure to check out the fun photos and videos with the hashtags #snowmaggedon2016 and #nashvillesnow. You can bet I'm having a blast playing in it. You can follow my photos on Instagram if you like. 

 

8 Steps to Increasing Your Willpower

When Heather and I lived in Edinburgh, Scotland, we used to frequent a small fitness club located in the Caledonian Hotel. Each day after work we would meet to visit the club on our way home. We were very dedicated to getting healthy because it was January, that's when we all have health on our minds. 

Many nights would be spent at the pub. We shared a flat with eight wonderful people, but it was tight quarters, so the pub was a nice escape. We would usually pig out on fish and chips along the walk home after the pub. A not-so-healthy choice. 

I can't remember exactly when it was in our fitness club foray when we discovered that our passes gave us access to the hot tub, but we were elated when we realized this. We would often hit the weights and cardio machines first, then we would hop into the hot tub and soak our troubles away. 

At some point things changed. We would skip the weights, do the cardio, and use the hot tub. Then we started skipping the cardio and we would just soak in the hot tub. It was probably early February when we would meet at the pub first and then go to the hot tub. You can see where this is going, right? 

Needless to say, we decided not to renew our health club memberships. We were shameful and disappointed that we didn't stick to our healthy New Year resolutions.

It's now getting to that time that many of us who made resolutions are slipping or have given up entirely. Here are some ways to improve your willpower to get back on the horse. 

8 Steps to Increase Willpower

I came across a fantastic article from the Guardian about willpower by Will Storr. In it, he writes about Walter Mischell's book, The Marshmellow Test. Mischell shares how to improve your willpower in seven steps. Here they are from the article:

1. Transform the meaning of stimuli "It sounds like a heavy phrase but what does it mean?" says Walter Mischel. "I have coeliac disease. When I eat gluten, I get a burning itch. So when I look at pasta, I don't think of it as yummy, delicious and great, I think of it as poisonous, connected to the itch."

2. Distance yourself Look at yourself as if you're a fly on the wall. Describe yourself to yourself as if you were another person. A simple thing such as referring to yourself by your name rather than "I, me" gives you an advantage.

3. Make the object of your desire abstract Pretend it's not really there. Put a frame around it in your head and make believe it's only a picture.

4. Eat chocolate If you need a momentary boost, scoff sugar. (This tip is less successful for dieters).

5. One thing at a time Willpower is like a muscle that gets fatigued. If you're dieting, don't try to give up smoking at the same time.

6. Practice small Willpower can be strengthened by regular practice, according to Roy Baumeister, who claims that even things as simple as making sure you're always sitting up straight and speaking in complete sentences can build up your power of self-control, which will improve in other areas.

7. Eat well Evidence suggests that self-control draws disproportionately on blood glucose, which is a fuel for the brain. Sleeping well and eating food that provides a long, slow release of sugar helps.

8. The 'If, Then' technique Tell yourself, "If I see pie on the menu, then I'll order the tuna salad." It has to be highly specific and practiced until automatic.

Have you tried these before? Did they work for you? 

I'm giving them a try now, even though we just ordered Girl Scout cookies from Ella. How evil is it of the Girl Scouts to be canvassing for cookies in January?! 

I am excited to test my willpower when those deliciously fattening cookies appear on our doorstep. Tagalongs are like kryptonite to my willpower, but I will stay true and stick to resisting them!

If I fail, follow the cookie crumbs right to the hot tub.

I Am Glad I...
Photo by María Victoria Heredia Reyes. 

Photo by María Victoria Heredia Reyes. 

I wrote yesterday about a regret I have. We all have regrets. Don't lie and say you don't. I have been thinking about this lately because I sometimes compare myself to others I admire. Once again, something I shouldn't do, but I do - you do it too. 

Heather has girlfriends she gets together with once a year who she met in college. I always hear stories from friends about their college days. I get envious and I wish I had done the same thing, but I didn't. 

I Wish Had...

Fill in the blank, I wish I had ________________________________________________. Now replace "I wish had" with "I am glad I". 

I Am Glad I...

I am glad I went to university for night classes and on weekends because I approached it in a much more mature way. I built relationships with faculty who I am still in touch with today. I excelled in my classes because I took them so much more seriously than I would have out of high school. I did it while I worked during the day and while Heather was pregnant. I remember it fondly. 

I wish I had become a speaker, so I would be in as much demand as some of my peers like Scott Stratten, Mitch Joel, and Chris Brogan

I am glad I waited to become a speaker until later because I am much more rehearsed and knowledgeable about the topics I speak on now. I am glad I didn't speak before studying improv with Second City, because I know how to read an audience and deliver content that leaves them thinking, inspired and laughing. 

What about you? 

I Wish Had... 

I Am Glad I...

The Best Way to Listen

I was laughing the other day as I listened to Ken Bole's Baby Sally podcast. I was chuckling because what he said rang true for me too.  We need to shut up more.

Here's the scenario. You are at a function, and you find yourself speaking with a few people. You are excitedly sharing an entertaining tale when something happens. 

As you are about to share the ending of your story, another person approaches and joins your group. The other people turn away from you and welcome him. Suddenly, they are talking with the new guy. Your story has become a cliff-hanger, but nobody cares.

I laughed at Ken's telling of his story because it has happened to me too. Has this happened to you?

Have a listen below, but be warned of strong language. ;)

Back at the Party...

Miffed, you rush to ruminate on how you can share the conclusion of your riveting story with your disconnected audience. It's usually too late. 

The moral of the story is to ferme la bouche. Instead, be the one who asks for their stories. Become a better listenerThe quieter you become the more you hear. 

This animation is featured in The ROI of Nice keynote presentation.

How to Train Your Brain to Be Smarter
How to train your brain to be smarter

We are all seeking ways to become smarter. At least, I hope we are. We should be.

Today, I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts, Question of the Day. In each episode hosts, James Altucher and Stephen J. Dubner choose a question from Quora and answer it. This week the question was, "What are ways to train your brain to be smarter?"

I feverishly took notes on my iPhone as I walked Max. Remember, when you write down what you learn, you retain the information. Transcribing my notes in this blog post will help me remember what I learned even better. Win, win. :) 

How to Train Your Brain to be Smarter

Read a lot.

I don't read enough books (I read plenty of articles and blog posts), so I've challenged myself to read two books a month this year. I'm sharing how this goes in the NBN Club, where members are also participating. I will share my notes here about each book as I complete it.

Hang out with people who are not like you. 

By expanding your circles, you will broaden your knowledge. Take a look at a site like MeetUp.com, to find upcoming groups you can join.

Don't spend so much time pursuing things that are not important to you.

Dubner quoted Arthur Conan Doyle. 

“I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool takes in all the lumber of every sort that he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to him gets crowded out, or at best is jumbled up with a lot of other things, so that he has a difficulty in laying his hands upon it. Now the skillful workman is very careful indeed as to what he takes into his brain-attic. He will have nothing but the tools which may help him in doing his work, but of these he has a large assortment, and all in the most perfect order. It is a mistake to think that that little room has elastic walls and can distend to any extent. Depend upon it there comes a time when for every addition of knowledge you forget something that you knew before. It is of the highest importance, therefore, not to have useless facts elbowing out the useful ones.” ― Arthur Conan Doyle, A Study in Scarlet.

Don't go with the flow.

Don't worry so much about the conventional wisdom. Don't worry about what everyone is thinking, doing and drinking. Use your brain to be original. Dubner said, "A little bit of truly original thinking can get you so much further than just learning how to parrot all of the seemingly smart things everyone around you says."

Sleep a lot. 

Altucher explained that if you want to be smarter you should sleep a lot. This gives your brain time to build upon the facts that you learn. 

Exercise your Idea Muscle.

I love the concept of your "idea muscle" from Altucher. He wrote about this in depth in his outstanding book, Choose Yourself. I've written about his book here before.

Write ten ideas every day. Share the best ideas with those who can benefit from them. Don't worry if the ideas are silly, the purpose is to get your brain moving to come up with those ideas. I also loved the idea that execution is a subset of ideas

Try Warren Buffet's Method.

Warren Buffet has an exercise he recommends people do to find their interests and passions. Simply write a list of 25 things you are interested in. Keep the top five and discard the others. The others will distract you from focusing on the top five, which are obviously the most important since you listed them first. 

Be sure to listen to the whole episode of Question of the Day, to hear about understanding mental shortcuts and more. 

I encourage you to subscribe to Question of the Day in iTunes

What are ways you train your brain to be smarter?

This #KillerCalendar Will Save Your Life
My #killercalendar

Ok, maybe not save your life, but it will greatly improve it. This isn't a productivity blog, and yet I keep finding myself writing about the topic. I suppose it's because it is the new year. Everyone (including myself) is pumped about improving their lives. As for productivity, be sure you are following smart people like Mike Vardy, Erik J. Fisher, David Allen, and Michael Hyatt (whose calendar idea I borrowed for this version). 

My Killer Calendar

I want to introduce you to an idea that is working for me to stay focused. It's also helping me to reevaluate how I am spending my time. The idea is my Killer Calendar. Don't worry, nobody dies. 

I balance many different projects at once. I have incredible consulting and coaching clients at any given time. I also need time to write content here and in the Nice Maker. I also carpool to get the kids to school, gymnastics, clubs, etc. And then there is Max at my side, who seems to always be anxiously ready to head outside for a pee.

My Killer Calendar has helped me to stay focused by dividing my time into specific chunks dedicated to different topics such as, Client Work, Business Development, Family.

3 Steps to Create Your Killer Calendar

1. Along the left side of the Google Calendar interface, you will see My calendars and Other calendars that you are subscribed to. Turn them all off by clicking the box next to each one. Your calendar should be blank.

How to create a calendar in Google Calendar

2. Create a new calendar and call it  "My Killer Calendar". 

2. Add general daily areas of work you need to do, these should seldom change. This isn't a to do list, for that, grab my daily goals worksheet. Carve out blocks of time for each item. You could have sections like, Gym, Team Meeting, Client Work, Personal Development, etc.

Tip: It helps to make these reoccurring in the calendar, so you don't have to create a new item for each day manually.

Here's my Killer Calendar for weekday mornings. 

My Killer Calendar

3. Along the left side of the Google Calendar interface you can select different calendars. Turn your regular calendar back on, so you see how your work week compares to your Killer Calendar. Moving forward, you will adjust your regular calendar to be sure it fits your Killer Calendar template.

The Killer Calendar will help you know what you should and shouldn't be doing each day. It will also help you realize how you can adjust your life to make up more time in a day.

I have decided to shorten my walks with Max on days I drive the kids to school from 60 minutes to 30 minutes. I also now eat breakfast with my kids, and I shower as they are getting ready. This saved me another 30 minutes. I have adjusted my Killer Calendar to reflect this, and now have an extra hour to work on my clients on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Win!

I recommend you print your Killer Calendar, so you can review it through the day to be sure you are staying focused. Mine is taped to my wall over my desk. I aways find printing items helps me get the work done, which is why I made my Daily Goals worksheet for you. 

Do you do this too? If you try it, let me know how it works for you.

Improv Changed My Life

I had the great opportunity to reveal a new presentation at Hubspots' Inbound Conference last year. It was a thrill to attend and speak at such a stellar marketing conference with 13,000 attendees (not all at my session, Maron!). My presentation was a 12-minute (TEDx-style) talk about how my life has improved with improv

As I put my deck together, I realized the story was too good to just share with the amazing audience in Boston. The lessons I learned studying improv with Second City in Toronto, and performing regularly in a troupe in Ireland, helped me in so many ways. So I decided to write a short ebook.

Improve with Improv breaks down the three key lessons I learned from improv: acceptancelistening better and not to fear failure. My friend, Daniele Rossi, did the wonderful illustrations. Call it a coincidence, but he is now a recent graduate from Second City too. 

I sincerely hope you pick up a copy of Improve with Improv. It's a quick read with some valuable lessons inside. Let me know what you think of it, please. 

GRAB YOUR COPY NOW TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE WITH IMPROV. 

Test the Communication

Like you, I have been IT support for my parents for as long as they have owned computers. I recalled a rather trying incident today from several years ago with my dad. This story will make you scream out in frustration. 

It was a cold, grey January evening like tonight was. My phone rang and my dad was on the other end. He was distraught. The dialogue went something like this.

“Hello?”
“David?” 
“Oh hey, dad.”
“I can’t get the computer to print.”

It seemed like a simple request. My dad couldn’t get his printer to print. This can happen to all of us. It could have been a paper jam, or a loose cable, or a driver that needed updating (damn you, Windows). No, the trouble was more confusing and infuriating than you can imagine.

I asked my dad if the power was on. He told me that the light was on. I asked if it had paper in it. He answered that it did, but that wasn't causing the problem. 

Thirty minutes passed, soon after it was sixty minutes. I went through every step to rectify his technological issue, but it still would not print. My dad shared every swear word he knew - multiple times. Even Jesus was likely disappointed with him due to his numerous exclamations of blasphemy. 

The answer will surprise you!

I was exhausted. I was perplexed. What the hell did I miss through this? Why couldn’t I get his printer working? The answer will surprise you. 

computer monitor .png

“Dad, the printer has paper?”
“Yes!”
“Does it have the power on?”
“Yes. The thing under the desk?”
“Yes.”
“I’m not talking about the goddamned thing that prints on paper!”
“What?”
“The screen. When I type the words don’t print on the screen! What's wrong with you, David?” 

That’s right, it was the monitor all along. My dad meant the words on the screen weren’t printing when he typed on the keyboard. Yep, he never turned on the monitor. THE MONITOR.

My dad has infuriated me before, he has delighted and disappointed me too. He’s a good man, a solid guy, but not always easy to deal with. This was one of those times. I was proud to have helped him find his solution, but I felt completely exhausted and defeated. I was also on the cusp of going postal had we continued the call much longer after the solution was discovered.

How about you?

The problem you are facing could have a clear solution. Test your communication before you begin troubleshooting. And don't ever answer your phone if my dad calls for tech support.

Practice What You Preach
daily writing practice what you preach

I just released my 2016 version of my daily goals document, to help you (and me) stay focused on our priorities. I started a new personal blog here that is supposed to be daily, and yet I didn't commit myself to sticking to it through the holidays. 

I didn't practice what I preached. Starting anything during December isn't the best move in my humble opinion. Especially when you work from home and have family visiting and your kids home from school. It's seasonal chaos that distracts you from the work you need to do for yourself. That said, I wouldn't have it any other way. My kids had an amazing Christmas, that's all I care about in December, that and my clients are happy of course. 

Writing here has to be daily

This blog is called Dave Delaney Daily for a reason. I'm supposed to be writing here each day. It's a project to force me to write more and exercise my brain. Maybe I should call it Dave Delaney, Except December. I could also rethink it into a daily blog except on Sundays. Like a Chick-fil-A without the delicious fried chicken and pickle sandwiches and homophobia. 

No, I'm back at it. It has to be daily. The alliteration of the name just sounds right. Don't you think? If you want to start writing daily check out Jeff Goins' blog post on the topic. 

My mum (not a typo, she's British) returned to Toronto on the 29th. Heather gets back to work tomorrow (God bless her), and my kids get back to school this Wednesday. Things are getting back to normal. 

I love the holidays (God bless Amazon), but when you work for yourself, getting back to work is greatly anticipated.

I have the house to myself for a couple of hours, so I thought I would write this for you now. In case you were thinking I got hit by a reindeer or I choked to death on a turkey bone. I did almost pass out from egg nog, but I don't want to bore you with that lesson. 

It's time to practice what I preach. I'm printing out my daily goals documents for this week. I'm writing it all out. I'm planning 2016 like crazy. You should too. Expect daily blog posts from me with alacrity moving forward! 

What are you working on? Are you trying to make writing a habit in 2016? Is it already a habit? I'd love to hear about your experiences. What works for you?  

A Christmas Story
Source: Wikimedia

Source: Wikimedia

I’m not sure what year it was, but we were north of Toronto near my cottage. We were deep in a forest, surrounded by fluffy white snow everywhere. I was a young kid, wrapped up to my head in winter wear. I looked like a Canadian ninja, dressed in a blue, snowflake patterned toque, positioned just above my eyes. My Toronto Maple Leafs scarf was over my mouth and nose to the bottom of my eyes. Hundreds of fraser, balsam fir, scotch pine, and spruce trees surrounded us. The dusk sun was on the cusp of setting, and the snow reflected the dark blue from the sky above. Santa was up there somewhere, getting ready to visit us soon.

On the hunt for the perfect Christmas tree

My step-brother, Andy, was there, along with my brother, Mike, and my Dad. We were hunting for the perfect Christmas tree to return to the cottage and decorate for St. Nick himself. As we wandered through the snow-covered tree farm, we reached a crossroads. A large path split the forest in half. We stood there together, frozen for a moment, anticipating something.

Suddenly, a pack of barking, snorting dogs appeared out of the darkness. They sprinted toward us along the path, huffing and puffing. One large cloud of carbon dioxide floated above the dogs as they exhaled quick breaths. Behind the dogs stood a large man with a guttural voice who commanded the dogs to halt. The sleigh came to a complete stop right in front of us. We were all dumbfounded.

Two beautiful brown gems happily glared back to us.

The man behind the sled smiled. His eight huskies stood anxiously awaiting further instruction. The musher looked at us and asked if we liked his dogs. He assured us that it was OK to go over to pet them. One particular dog instantly drew us in like a magical magnet. He had the thick white, and gray fur one would expect from a Siberian Husky. However, his eyes were both hazel brown. The breed is best known for its piercing blue eyes. Some huskies have one blue and one brown eye, but not this one. Two beautiful brown gems happily glared back at us.

His eyes seemed to smile as we all gathered around to pet him while the dog runner glanced down and noted our fondness for the individual dog. “It sure looks like they like that one, eh?” he said to our father. My dad replied in agreement, “They sure do. He’s one hell of a good-looking dog.”

“You guys want him?” The musher asked. The freezing wind abruptly stopped. The forest became silent. My siblings and I stared from the dog up to my dad. We had never owned a dog before. The man unzipped his parka and reached into his pocket for a business card. “If you want him, give me a call. That one is for sale.”

Before my dad could answer him, he yelled, “Mush! Hike! All right! Let’s go!” The dogs jumped up and were off like lightning. They left the scene so quickly that it felt like the whole thing had been a winter dream. We stood there staring into the distance as the dog sled disappeared. The snow fell faster from the heavens.

Photo from Flickr by Peggy2012CREATIVELENZ

Photo from Flickr by Peggy2012CREATIVELENZ

I have no recollection of selecting a tree, cutting it down, strapping it to the roof, or any monetary exchange for the tree. No, all I remember is what happened next. The snow fell silently into the windshield as we drove through the night. The ride was quiet as millions of flakes endlessly flew toward us. It was as if the snow had hypnotized my dad. He turned from glaring at his headlights on the dark road and asked, “Do you guys want a dog?” 

"I was going to kill him next week."

A few days later, we drove up the long driveway of the musher’s home. We were shocked to see so many dog houses surrounded by fencing. The volume of the barking dogs was ear-piercing as we trudged through the slush and brown, muddy snow to the front door. The man greeted us, and we entered his rustic home. My dad and the man sat at his kitchen table. We looked around at the dogs, searching for the one we had found that night at the tree farm.

My dad made the check out for $500 as the man left to retrieve our first dog. The musher smiled as we departed and put his hand on my dad’s shoulder. “You know, I’m glad you bought that one… I was going to kill him next week.”

As it turns out, Teddy wasn’t the best sled dog, which would be his fate. Luckily (for him and us), he was the best first dog a family could own. I have no recollection of what Christmas gifts I received that year. I don’t even remember what the tree looked like. All I remember is that was the year Teddy joined our family. We had many great years with him. Now he’s up there somewhere, beyond the North Pole, above the snow and the clouds, in the sky, far over that tree farm.

Thanks for being here. Merry Christmas, Teddy. Happy Holidays to you too.

How to Slow Time
How to slow time

The phenomenon of time zipping past us faster as we get older is nothing new. This is something I’ve been interested in for years. I once read that the feeling of time going by quickly is thought to be brought on by our repetitive lives.

Why does time fly by?

We all have that summer we remember, the one where we had our first kiss or did something else taboo. That summer seemed to last forever. Did I just quote Don Henley?

It is believed that when we first do something new, it makes time stand still. As we get older, we do the same things over and over, and time goes by faster because of this repetitiveness. This should encourage you to try something new, like attend a networking event you’ve never been to, take a class on something new, travel, or start a blog.

Last year, I interviewed Ronni Bennett, a retired television producer who produced classic TV shows like Barbara Walters specials and “20/20.” She even launched CBSNews.com as their first managing editor in 1995. Ronni blogs all about issues and topics related to aging at Time Goes By.

Timeless Networking Tips

It is by blogging for years about age that Bennett has built a network of loyal readers. She has even organized meetups where she has been able to meet her readers in person. In the hustle and bustle of business use of social media (especially this time of the year), it’s easy to forget about truly connecting with people online. Instead, we want our content to be seen by as many eyeballs as possible. Bennett reminded me of the importance of building relationships, and she has done just this by creating a community of like-minded individuals with an interest in aging.

Bennett also spoke about how she networked her way to an impressive career in broadcasting from the 1970s to the 1990s. She got to know so many people by attending dinners. Each person would often bring a guest to the dinners, and her network would grow from these encounters. She arrived at CBSNews.com because she helped a person in her network. The executive producer of CBS needed to learn about the Internet. Bennett offered to help and ended up being offered the job as the first managing editor.

Here are three main things I learned from our thought-provoking and often hilarious conversation:

1. Try new things to slow time down, but know the speed of time never really changes.

2. Be selfless and helpful to people in your network. This landed Bennett a position as a pioneer of the Internet. She was the first person to connect text with images in online news.

3. Attend and/or organize events. Getting out from behind the computer and meeting new people or your online friends in person is always a healthy move to grow your network.

Take some time now to listen to my original interview with Ronni Bennett. I promise you will be laughing and thinking about age in a new way. 

Is time going by quickly for you too? Have you figured your own way to make it slow?

 

10 Tips to Choose Yourself from James Altucher
James Altucher

One of my favorite people (who I have never met) is James Altucher. James is a serial entrepreneur and investor who has had big wins and plenty of failures throughout his career. I like his somewhat kooky approach to life. I’m somewhat kooky too, so he appeals to me that way. He’s a big fan of comedy, I am too. He writes from the heart, I do too. He’s had some dark days in his life, moi aussi. 

James’ blog is prolific and his podcasts are always enjoyable. I enjoy listening to his amateur sounding interviews with his stellar guests and amazing questions. You can tell he listens intently and truly gets excited by his guests. I don’t mean amateur in a negative way. I mean that he comes across sincere, with a voice unlike professional broadcasters. That’s what podcasting is all about. 

James has written several amazing books, but the one that has impressed me the most is Choose Yourself. The following are ten takeaways that stuck with me from the book. Consider each point for your own life.

10 Takeaways From Choose Yourself

1. Every second, you have to choose yourself to succeed.

2. Rejection - and the fear of rejection - is the biggest impediment we face to choosing ourselves. 

3. Only think about the people you enjoy. Only read the books you enjoy, that make you happy to be human. Only go to the events that actually make you laugh or fall in love. Only deal with the people who love you back, who are winners and want you to win too.

4. The past and future don’t exist. They are memories and speculation, neither of which you have any control over.

5. What does purpose mean when we are dead? We might as well choose to be happy now.

6. Think of two people in your network who don’t know each other but you think can add value to each other’s lives (I added this idea to my daily goals document). 

7. All you have to do is stay in the present. When you catch yourself upset about the past or worried about the future, say to yourself, “Ah, I’m time traveling,” then STOP.

8. If you don’t promote yourself, nobody else will. 

9. We only ever remember the things we are passionate about.

10. We never learn when we are talking. We only learn when we are listening.

Bonus: Pretend everyone was sent to this planet to teach you.

I recommend you pick up a copy of Choose Yourself today. Get started.

What book have you read this year that left you inspired? Leave a comment, I would love to learn more about the books that mean something to you. 

 

Six must-know tips to work from home
Your couch is dangerous

Part of the purpose of this blog is for me to share things I have learned about being an entrepreneur who works alone. While I’m not a huge fan of the word “solopreneur,” it does encapsulate my work life. I also work from home, so if you do, too, this post is for you. 

Six tips for people who work from home - people like you. 

1. Your couch is dangerous.

Ella was sick, she was home from school with me for a few days recently. She spent the day on the couch watching tv, reading, and resting. I spent the day next to her on my computer. When she returned to school, I worked for two more days from the couch. My back was aching, and I felt much less productive. The couch is a symbol of laziness and procrastination. 

If you work from home, you must carve out your corner. Set up an ergonomic workspace that is distraction-free. Avoid the couch at all costs (unless it’s to console your sick kiddo). I’m back in my office now and feeling much better. 

2. Schedule time daily to use social media to connect with people.

I’ll be the first to admit that social media can distract from getting the work done. However, if you are genuinely being social, it’s not a bad place to pop into. If you work alone, you need interaction throughout your day. People need people. Allocate a little time through your day to log into Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn to say hello. See what your friends are up to and meet some new people. Use an app like Freedom to switch off access to social networks when your time is up. 

3. Beware of the kitchen. 

When you work from home, your fridge is close - too close. Making snacks is a form of procrastination. Your kitchen equals lost time and gained weight. If you must stretch your legs (and you should), pop into your kitchen for a quick glass of water instead. Staying hydrated is essential, and your increased bathroom breaks will get you up for a stretch. 

 

4. Stretch!

https://spinecenterbr.com/simple-stretches-to-relieve-back-pain/

Take breaks every hour to stretch. Reach for the sky, reach down to your toes, and get up! The best thing about working from home is nobody hears your grunts as you get into the downward dog position on the floor.  

5. Find a professional lunch or breakfast group you can join or start your own. 

Find a good group of professionals who you can network with. I wrote all about this in my book, New Business Networking. Getting out of your house to meet people is a positive way to spend some time each week or two. If you can’t find a group to join, consider starting your own

6. Reward yourself.

When you work for a decent company, rewards are given for meeting milestones. Do the same for yourself. Set your goals and get to them. If you meet your monthly goal, reward yourself with a movie or a hike. Do something for the fun of it because you deserve it. 

Working from home isn’t always easy. Staying productive is vital. Time is your most precious commodity and a terrible thing to waste. 

I'm a Sucker for Nostalgia
Posing for a photo on Inishmaan island before being attacked by a donkey. No, really.

Posing for a photo on Inishmaan island before being attacked by a donkey. No, really.

I fondly recall Ireland every time I'm out in a misty rain, listening to Planxty, or sipping a creamy pint of Guinness (Zero). I have many reasons to long for Ireland. Galway is where I met my best friend and wife, Heather.

I miss sitting in Neachtains with Heather on a relaxed Saturday afternoon, playing cards by the peat fire. I miss taking seaside strolls along the Salt Hill promenade during the warm days. I loved Thursday nights upstairs with friends at The Crane. We would sit, listening to the finest Irish traditional music in the world. It's also where Heather and I had our first date.

There's much I miss about Galway and my adventures hitchhiking across Ireland. The truth is that I miss the feeling of the time; I'm a sucker for nostalgia. Ireland was carefree freedom. Before meeting Heather, I didn't even care for myself. She taught me how. She gave me a reason to. That's the part I don't think about enough.

We choose our memories to dwell on. I don't consider the loneliness, the hangovers, the poverty, and the dreadful weather. I miss Ireland and our friends, but I know it's the freedom I miss most.

The Freedom Still Exists

I'm a husband, father, and consultant, I can't run away to find freedom again. Instead, I need to realize that freedom still exists. I work for myself; I make my own hours. And on a rainy day like when I wrote this when the nostalgia has kicked back in, I'm free to slip away to my local pub for a pint of the black stuff.

Savor your recollections, but don't let your selective memory fool you. It was never all roses (or four-leaf clovers). Take a deep breath and be thankful for what you have. 

May the best day of your past be the worst day of your future. 

10 Thoughts About Self-Image, Self-Worth, and Self-Doubt

Lucrecer Braxton has a wonderful podcast called, Hello Friend. Each episode features a conversation with an awesome person. That sounds good, right? On the latest episode, she interviewed my friend, John Michael Morgan.

John is a best-selling author and business coach. I don't get to see him enough, but when I do, I always leave inspired and filled with ideas for my businesses. The conversation between Lucrecer and John left me excited to share some of his wisdom with you here. 

10 Thoughts About Self-Image, Self-Worth, and Self-Doubt

I love John's thoughts about self-image, self-worth, and self-doubt. The following are 10 points I took away from the interview. Consider these for your own life.

  1. Have a “Why not me?” attitude. 
  2. You’re never going to outperform your self-image.   
  3. If you’re not spending as much time working on your self-image as you are your business, family, and job, you’re doing yourself an injustice. 
  4. Your fears can’t hurt you, but believing in them can.
  5. Ask yourself, “Who do I have to become?" Make a list of the beliefs and behaviors that person has. 
  6. Write with the word “YOU”, not “I”. Use the story about you, but it has to be about your readers too.
  7. Too often we are chasing approval instead of results.
  8. The more you can create a theme around your content. The more people will come to it. 
  9. Be careful who you are taking advice from. Consider what makes them an expert.
  10. Give people acknowledgment. 

John runs the Achievers Alliance group for entrepreneurs. You should take a look at it and decide if it's something that could help you. John also wrote the excellent book, Brand Against The Machine

Listen to Lucrecer's full interview on the Hello Friend site or down below.

How to Fend Off a Jerk
No, this is not me. 

No, this is not me. 

When I was fifteen, I worked for a full-service gas station and auto repair shop. I know what you're thinking (unless you're in New Jersey or Oregon), "what is a full-service gas station?" Yes, there was a time when a smiling gas jockey would greet your car and fill up your gas. You didn't even need to step out of your vehicle.

Most customers were nice, many even tipped me. One day, a guy in his early 30s pulled up in a Porche with more attitude than his car. He rudely told me to fill it up, check the tires, check the oil and levels, and "clean my windows, kid". I did all of the above and returned to his window when the gas stopped filling. 

I politely asked him for the total amount due. He glanced at his window shield and grunted, "You missed a spot." I sighed and grabbed the squeegee to do his entire window again. When I returned to the customer he told me to clean his headlights. It was obvious he was on a power trip, and I could do nothing but oblige him. I grabbed the squeegee and wiped down his headlights. 

He didn't say a word as he paid me for the gas. He didn't thank me, he didn't even look at me. Then he screeched off the lot into the night. 

I returned to the office and was clearly angry. My boss, Ed, noticed my sudden mood change. When he asked me what happened, I explained the guy was a jerk. He just smiled and sat me down.

Ed gave me some of the best customer service advice I have ever received. This is something I've used in many jobs over the years. When someone is clearly trying to antagonize you, act happy. The worse they get, the happier you get. 

Gas Jockey

I took Ed's advice on a future customer who was attempting to piss me off. Each time the customer was rude to me, I was friendlier to him. To the point that he was exasperated from trying to get a rise out of me. It was hilarious because I was completely over-the-top friendly - my smile was ridiculously wide.

The results will leave you laughing. 

When I returned to the office, I was laughing out loud. The jackass didn't get me in a bad mood, far from it. I was in an even better mood than before dealing with him, because I won. He couldn't have complained about me being too nice! 

Try this the next time someone is obviously trying to get you annoyed. Smile, act happy, agree with everything he says to you. The results will leave you laughing. 

A Star Wars Public Service Announcement

If you have been sleeping under a rock, you might have missed the big news. Star Wars: The Force Awakens opens Thursday. I read today that fans are already lining up at the Chinese Theater on Hollywood Boulevard in Los Angeles. Now that's dedication. 

I have mixed emotions when it comes to Star Wars. It was 1980, my brother and I sat in the back of my dad's car. We were on our way to the opening screening of The Empire Strikes Back. It was a huge deal for any young boy at the time. 

I remember the rain in the late afternoon. Mike and I happily bounced in the back of the car, as Blondie was singing, "Call me" on the radio. I expect Mike was as excited as I was, but I couldn't see his face through the thick smoke from my dad's cigarettes. 

We had arrived at a parking lot near the cinema. My dad parked the car and we hopped out. The smoke billowed from the car, like a scene from a Cheech and Chong movie. The three of us happily walked down the street towards the movie theatre. Mike and I were slicing and dicing ourselves with imaginary lightsabers. 

It had been three years since Star Wars had premiered in Toronto. We didn't see it in the theatre because we were too young at the time. Now we were big kids, I was eight and Mike was five.

My Dad was already 47. He wasn't a movie fan, nor was he interested in Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, or the rest of the ensemble. He was simply a divorced father who was trying to entertain his kids on one of his weekends. What better way than to take them to the opening of the most anticipated movie of the year? 

The hell with this!

As we approached the theatre the rain began to fall harder. The weather gods didn't hinder our spirit. Suddenly, the unthinkable happened. We stepped around the corner to discover a queue of people longer than the opening credits of Star Wars. Hundreds of people were there!

With our hands in tow with our father's, we stood frozen in horror. Mike and I innocently glared up to our dad, who abruptly exclaimed, "The hell with this!" 

Before we could object, our dad did an about-face and we returned to the parking lot. We sunk back into the rear seat of the car. We hadn't been gone long enough for all of the smoke to dissipate. My dad lit another cigarette, and we drove home in silence. 

The force was not in our favor that tragic day. 

Thirty-five years later, Star Wars: The Force Awakens is upon us. Much technological progress has occurred since the early days of Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back. Animatronics and hand-crafted models have advanced to green screens and CGI. You don't have to rely on TV and newspapers for Star Wars news, you can get everything online. Most importantly, movie tickets can now be purchased in advance. 

The moral of this story? Don't be my dad. Get your tickets for The Force Awakens today.  

The Art of Non-Conformity

This old cartoon came up on Reddit today. It's a thought-provoking illustration by Gavin Aung Than from ZenPencils.com. The content within the cartoon is by Chris Guillebeau, who is an award-winning author, conference organizer, and world traveler. 

I've met Chris a couple of times over the years, he's a good person with inspiring messages. His book, The Art of Non-Conformity, was especially important to me. Chris chose freedom as his highest personal value and learned to construct a life around that choice. 

I read The Art of Non-Conformity when I was working a job I was unhappy with. I specifically remember sitting in a Thai restaurant, reading and highlighting sections of it. 

15 Life Lessons from The Art of Non-Conformity

  1. We tend to regret what we haven't done more than what we have.
  2. Since a lot of adults have not figured out what they really want, they naturally find it difficult to pass on the values of soul-searching to children.
  3. Create a "life list" or "bucket list" of anything and everything you'd like to accomplish before you die. Break it down into measurable goals.
  4. Fear is normal.
  5. Change can only come about when the pain of transition becomes less than the pain of accepting the status quo.
  6. If you're not happy with the way something is done, you don't have to accept it.
  7. Motivation comes in three forms: inspiration, education, and entertainment.
  8. You want to lift up your followers and improve their lives in a meaningful way.
  9. Say goodbye to unnecessary tasks, obligations, and expectations. Welcome in a wide range of other things that enrich your life.
  10. Ask two questions: "Why should I do this?" and "What will happen if I don't?" 
  11. Saying no is critically important to seeing the terms of your life.
  12. Create a To-Stop-Doing List.
  13. Begin thinking about your legacy right now.
  14. Even highly individualistic goals, like writing a book or visiting every country in the world, can benefit greatly from the support of a small army of loyal partners. 
  15. Let the world know you are looking for help.

The point of this blog is to help you too. Working on your own can be lonely. Your inner critic can shut you down with fear. It happens to me too. 

Let's do this together.

Leave a comment with what you are working on. How can we help each other?