It's lazy and sad.

I use #AI in many ways; it's crucial to learn and understand new technologies, especially new artificial intelligence agents, and to stay up-to-date on evolving ways to use such agents, whether through prompts or APIs.

What's lazy is using AI to write FOR you, replacing YOU from the writing altogether. Imagine a future of LinkedIn being filled with AI-written articles and AI-written comments. What's the point at that point?

I still believe in the power of human-to-human connection. Using AI to help is smart, but using it to replace us is sad. No more original thinking. No more genuine connection.

Naive or Dishonest

If you're using AI to auto-comment, reply, or send messages that pretend to be you, it's naive because you don't understand the implications. You haven't thought clearly about why you want to leave comments on hundreds of posts. If you do know what you're doing, it's dishonest because you are using this method to fool people (actual humans) into thinking that you read and enjoyed what they published - and we notice this.

Stripping yourself from otherwise genuine human interactions online removes the social from social networking, leaving the networking to bots, and then why even log in to LinkedIn anymore?

What do you think? Will AI ruin the social web in the hands of humans? Discuss here.

Recently, I sat down with Jeremy C. Park on cityCurrent to discuss the messy, meaningful, and often hilarious journey I've taken as a communication strategist, keynote speaker, and host of the ADHD Wise Squirrels podcast. We covered everything from networking tips to mindfulness, with some improv and salmon recipes sprinkled in for good measure.

Here are a few things we explored in the episode—and why they matter so much to me.

Improv Is My Secret Weapon

If you've ever taken an improv class, you probably remember two things: 1) how terrifying it was to not know what would happen next, and 2) how liberating it was when you let go and just listened and accepted.

That's what hooked me.

In my workshops and keynotes, I draw on core improv principles, such as active listening, overcoming the fear of failure, and leading with acceptance. These aren't performance tricks. They're human connection tools. And in an age of endless meetings and endless distractions, being truly present is rarer and more valuable than ever.

I joke that I don't always lead with the improv angle because some folks hear "improv" and assume they'll be forced on stage. Or worse, they're haunted by a bad comedy show. But when they experience the application of these tools and see how they improve team communication, leadership, and empathy, it clicks.

Networking Doesn't Have to Be Gross

I'm the author of New Business Networking, and networking should be based on humanness, not hustle. During the interview, Jeremy and I talked about my three "Ups" of networking that I teach:

• Show up.

• Follow up.

• Catch up.

Sounds simple, but most people forget at least one—especially the last.

We also discussed business card etiquette, which I'm passionate about even in a digital-first world. I always recommend writing something memorable on the card as soon as the conversation ends. Maybe it's a salmon recipe (yes, that actually came up in the episode). Maybe it's a personal anecdote. The point is to create a reminder of a genuine human moment, not just a LinkedIn connection request.

ADHD Isn't a Quirk—It's a Reality

This part of the conversation got personal. I was diagnosed with ADHD later in life, and it was both a revelation and a relief. Suddenly, many things fell into place. That's what inspired me to start the ADHD Wise Squirrels podcast and encourage people to take a free ADHD assessment on my site.

ADHD isn't just a quirky personality trait; it's a legitimate neurological type that often goes undiagnosed, especially in adults. It's also heritable, and when untreated, it can affect everything from relationships to life expectancy.

We need more honesty and fewer platitudes. ADHD is not "just being distracted." And no, "everyone is not a little ADHD." (To quote myself: "That's like saying everyone's a little pregnant.”)

Meditation, Tornadoes, and Joseph Goldstein

Like many of us, I started meditating during the chaos of 2020. Between the pandemic and a literal tornado hitting Nashville and disrupting our lives (school destroyed, house damaged), I needed grounding.

I was inspired by Joseph Goldstein—an 82-year-old meditation teacher who has spent over 10 years in silent retreat. His gentle voice and no-BS approach helped me build a daily practice that I still maintain today. Meditation, alongside medication and therapy, has become one of my most effective tools for managing ADHD. And no, I haven't done 10 years in silence. I talk for a living. But even 10 minutes of silence can change your day, just ask my wife! :)

Feel Seen, Heard, and Understood

At the heart of all this improv, communication, ADHD, mindfulness, and networking is a single through-line: belonging. Whether I'm coaching an individual, speaking to a crowd, or recording a podcast, my goal is to help people feel more seen, heard, and understood.

Because the opposite of connection isn't just loneliness, it's burnout. And I feel this way, too. Check out the full conversation with Jeremy on the City Current Show. And if you're navigating ADHD, leadership, or simply want to learn how to communicate more effectively and show up more fully, I'd love to connect. Now might be the perfect timing.

Burnout sneaks in when the well runs dry. For me, that happens when I’m not coaching enough clients, delivering enough workshops, or standing on stage doing what I love: helping people connect and communicate better. Without that work, my energy fades. I feel tired. Deflated. My sense of purpose disappears.

As an extrovert who thrives around people, working solo for over a decade has taken its toll. I’ve been running my own business since 2012, but these days the loneliness of working alone is louder than ever. I love using my strengths to solve problems, develop effective strategies, and help others bring their ideas to life. But I’ve reached a point where I know I don’t want to do it alone anymore.

I want to take an existing organization to the next level, together.

After my ADHD diagnosis in 2023 and subsequent treatment, I finally had the clarity to recognize something I’d always been too overwhelmed to see: I’m not great at everything. I don’t have to be. My mind had been moving so fast for so long that I never stopped to ask where I truly thrive and where I need support. I don’t want to build in a vacuum anymore. I want to collaborate with like-minded colleagues who bring strengths I don’t have. I want to take an existing company or cause to the next level, together.

I work across various industries and am open to different sectors. I’m especially passionate about partnering with organizations focused on areas such as:

• Nashville-area nonprofits that support our community

• Live events

• Ethical AI

• Digital literacy

• Behavioral and mental health

• Performing arts and film

• Neuroscience

• Higher education

Yes, I have many interests. 😉 I’m also well-versed in the technology and agency industries.

That’s the heart of it. I’m eager to build something bigger than myself.

I’m open to where this leads: remote, hybrid, in-person, or even relocating in the US, to Canada, or Europe (so long as I can visit my family in Nashville). What matters is people. Team. Mission. Momentum.

IF you're feeling burned out

And if you’re reading this feeling the same burnout or loneliness, questioning your next move, here’s what I want you to know: You only have one life. Do what’s best for you and your family. If you’re feeling stuck, find the others. Join a local group, attend a meetup, or connect with your industry peers. You’re not alone.

And hey, if you’re building something meaningful and could use a communication strategist by your side… let’s talk.

In Julia Cameron’s essential book for creatives, The Artist's Way, she introduces the concept of the "Artist Date" as a key tool for nurturing creativity. Personally, I’ve been in a bit of a rut lately, especially working alone from home, where my office is located. With little travel and limited socializing, I’ve been feeling lonely and stuck.

When I go for local hikes in parks, I shoot for around five miles to clear my head, problem-solve, burn calories, and enjoy the fresh air. I love doing this, and with ADHD, exercise is even more important to help us clear the cobwebs.

Feeling in a rut lately, I had been kicking around the idea of a hike, but decided instead to surround myself with people again, so I did something for the first time ever: I took a mental health day off, something Cameron calls an Artist Date.

Key Principles of the Artist Date:

1. Solo Activity: The Artist Date is meant to be done alone. This is important because it allows you to reconnect with your inner artist without distractions or the influence of others.

2. Fun and Playful: The activity should be something that feels like fun rather than work. It’s about indulging your curiosity and sense of wonder, whether that's through visiting a museum, browsing a bookstore, watching a movie in a theatre, or even engaging in a playful, hands-on activity like painting or crafting.

3. Inspiration: The purpose of the Artist Date is to inspire you. It’s about filling the creative well with new experiences, sights, sounds, and sensations that can later fuel your artistic work.

4. Non-Productivity Focused: The Artist Date is not about producing something or achieving a goal. It’s purely about the experience and enjoyment of the activity, which can indirectly stimulate creative ideas and energy.

Rather than spending time as I do each day, dwelling on business development ideas or stewing in self-doubt, which hits entrepreneurs like a ton of bricks, I loosely planned my six-mile route around downtown Nashville. It had been ages since I walked the streets of the city I've called home since 2007.

I might have appeared a tad too excited in this photo. :)

I parked my car in the affluent Gulch neighborhood and enjoyed a fancy coffee at a fancy cafe, observing fancy people talking about fancy things. I walked to a former industrial building turned office and retail space, and wandered inside, something I hadn’t done since having clients there years ago. I was happy to see a favorite sushi restaurant still in business and saddened to remember that a classic used bookshop was no longer there. I enjoyed another coffee and wrote in my journal in the gorgeous lobby of the former Union (train) Station (turned) Hotel. It reminded me of meeting Billy Bragg & Joe Henry there once as they performed classic train-inspired songs. I also delivered presentations and workshops there on several occasions for private events.

I walked a short distance from Union Station to the Frist Art Museum. I enjoyed the Lee Alexander McQueen & Ann Ray: Rendez-Vous exhibit, a world of fashion I know nothing about, and ¡Printing the Revolution! The Rise and Impact of Chicano Graphics, 1965 to Now. Both left an impression on me about creative ideas I’ve had but never acted upon, like printmaking and photography. I also enjoyed a quick observation of the renovated children’s area. I quickly recalled many visits with my kids for hands-on printmaking, painting, and stop-motion videos so many years ago.

After the Frist, I walked through the heat up Broadway through Vanderbilt University’s pretty grounds and to Hillsboro Village. I settled in the welcomed air conditioning at Fido, a favorite local coffee shop I hadn’t been to in years. I used to frequent Fido daily for coffee and food when I worked just up the road when I first moved to Nashville in 2007. It seems like a lifetime ago. I sat at the window barstool table, ate a breakfast burrito, and watched the world pass by. I commented on Facebook how I have lived in Nashville long enough to miss the old Nashville; if you know, you know.

Once fully dried off from my sweaty hike to Fido, I walked back down to the Gulch along the shady Music Row streets, where country music dreams are created and crushed. I popped my head into a few other spots along the way but decided it was time to get back to the car, crank on the AC, and dry off again for a second time that day. August in the South is HOT!

My Artist Date day spent walking six miles, visiting old favorites, seeing new things, and taking breaks for journaling, reading, rumination, and coffee—so many coffees—was exactly what I needed. It was a day of not thinking about my business, not feeling worried about the future, not dwelling on the past, but just being present in each moment of re-discovering Music City, aka - home.

This post was first published in my Nice Maker Newsletter on August 11, 2024.

Also read: It’s okay to be lonely.

Screenshot from Flickr by Pixelant.

There was a time when social media felt like a communication revolution. It opened doors to connect with people across the globe, breaking down barriers and democratizing conversations. Suddenly, you could directly communicate with actors, comedians, business leaders — people you'd never meet otherwise. My kids marveled when they discovered Vanilla Ice was following me on Twitter, but he never replied to my DM. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I loved how you could meet someone at a tech event, follow up on Twitter, and keep the dialogue going. Or we'd first connect online, then strengthen that relationship in person at a "tweetup," conference, or "unconference." It was authentic, human communication — playful, exploratory, and full of possibility. The magic happens with hugs, handshakes, and high-fives... and lest we forget fist bumps.

Then the business model changed — and so did communication

When social platforms went public, the game shifted. Shareholders and boards demanded more revenue, pushing platforms to maximize engagement at any cost. And what keeps us engaged? Content that triggers the strongest reactions.

It's the same principle behind the old media adage: "If it bleeds, it leads." But unlike newspapers, which had editorial oversight, today's algorithms decide what we see based purely on what gets the most clicks — not what's thoughtful, balanced, or helpful. This has fundamentally altered how we communicate online. Conversations are now often driven by outrage, fear, or sensationalism, rather than curiosity or genuine connection.

We can't even trust who we're communicating with

It's not just what we see, but who we're talking to. Bots and AI agents have become so sophisticated and widespread that it's increasingly difficult to tell if you're engaging in real human communication at all.

Then there's the nefarious actors and simple trolls who use social media fan flames of division, a striking example was when Russian operatives created Facebook groups that organized opposing protests outside an Islamic center in Houston, Texas—one anti-Islam and one pro-Muslim—effectively turning Americans against each other, all orchestrated from Russia for around $200. It's a chilling example of how easily our communication channels can be hijacked to sow chaos and deepen divisions.

What once promised meaningful dialogue has been distorted into a landscape where you should question every online interaction, or you should be.

The slow erosion of networks for real communication

That's why I believe the days of social networks — at least as platforms for forming new relationships — are coming to an end. The remaining value is primarily in helping us maintain communication with people we already know, such as friends, family, and colleagues.

Facebook still exists for that reason, though engagement is already dropping in the U.S. and Canada, especially among younger users. LinkedIn continues to be effective for professional communication, but if algorithms continue to prioritize attention over authenticity, even that utility could fade. Recently, LinkedIn significantly reduced the number of personal notes that could be included in connection requests. I've always taught my clients to include that note to remind the person who you are and where you met IRL. Want access to more personal notes? Now you need to pay LinkedIn.

Ultimately, meaningful communication comes back to proximity and directness. We'll meet at a networking event. I'll send you a follow-up email. Maybe we'll grab coffee or chat on Zoom. We'll build trust through conversation, stay in touch, and reconnect at future conferences.

If I want to be introduced to someone, I won't rely on LinkedIn — I'll reach out to the person directly. That's going to put more pressure on us as professionals to organize our contacts thoughtfully, maybe with a solid CRM or even just a smarter inbox. If tools like Gmail and Outlook start building better relationship features, they could become the new hubs for professional communication, as email is still king.

So how do we protect our communication from all this noise?

I still stand by what I wrote in New Business Networking: Don't put anything online you wouldn't want your parents or grandparents to see.

Slow down and take a breath before diving into Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, or even X (if you still use it — I don't recommend it) — especially the feeds. Notice how a headline, post, or thread makes you feel. If it spikes anger, fear, or anxiety, close the app or tab. Recognize that these platforms are designed to manipulate our communication, to turn our emotional reactions into profit.

This isn't about tuning out from important issues. It's about being wise communicators — understanding that many online stories are shaped by business incentives, malicious actors, misinformation, and deliberate disinformation intended to divide us. It's also key to question how a story affects you and, if it does, what you plan to do about it other than sharing the story in the digital echo chambers. Instead, call your elected official to express your concerns, boycott the unethical business in question, register to vote, support a nonprofit that is fighting for what you believe, or volunteer your time. You get the idea.

Communication still matters — more than ever

The internet can still fulfill its early promise of powerful connection and meaningful communication. But that will only happen if we approach it with more discernment, more skepticism, and a deeper commitment to building human relationships beyond the reach of manipulative algorithms. There's power in proximity.

For six years, I traveled across the U.S. and Canada as a speaker and facilitator on behalf of Google, visiting bustling cities and quiet towns, delivering workshops to audiences of every size. From small community libraries to packed convention halls, I had one mission: to help people grow through better communication — with technology, with each other, and within their own organizations.

But while my audiences came to learn tools and tactics, I came away with something even more lasting: countless lessons on what truly makes for great communication from the stage, in workshops, and in every human interaction.

Know your stuff — and plan for tech to fail.

No matter how flawless your slides are or how slick your video is, technology fails (see video below). Communication starts with confidence, so I never relied on internet connections. I downloaded every video, embedded them directly, and always tested AV well before showtime. I walked around the room to ensure the slides were legible from the back, checked where sunlight might blind the screen, and especially verified that my clicker worked from every angle. Great communication is part preparation, part flexibility, and the ability to improvise when need be (shh, that's the secret).

A clip from The Master Communicator's Secret Weapon.

Treat every audience like friends.

Whether I was in NYC or a small town in Arizona, I always made it a point to connect. Before arriving, I’d set up Google Alerts for the local area to find good news — a high school baseball victory, an upcoming chili cookoff, a town anniversary. I’d mention local favorites, often after eating there myself. People lit up. They weren’t just attending a presentation; they felt seen because authentic communication is about making people feel understood and valued.

Keep it clear and inclusive.

Most of the people who came to my sessions weren’t experts. They were eager to learn. That meant I stayed grounded, avoided jargon and made sure no one felt left behind. I encouraged every question, stayed late for one-on-one help, and genuinely welcomed curiosity. Because great communication isn’t about showing off what you know; it’s about making your audience feel smart, supported, and capable.

Fill the front rows (literally).

One of my favorite little tricks: I traveled with big note cards that read “RESERVED FOR VOLUNTEERS.” I’d ask hosts if we could place them on the back rows and seat the audience from the front. When people sit close, laughter spreads, networking happens, and event photos look amazing, which matters for future event promotion. It’s a small step that makes a huge difference in the energy of the room. And all of that ultimately improves communication between the speaker and the audience.

Know your craft. Care about people. Never shut down curiosity. Because technology glitches, audiences remember how you made them feel, and every question is a door to deeper trust and impact.

Available for what’s next.

Today, I continue helping teams and organizations level up their communication — whether it’s through keynote presentations, in-house training, or train-the-trainer programs. If your team or event needs someone who has learned these lessons firsthand, I’d love to explore the possibility of working together.

Speaking for Google.

As my friend and leader of the Grow with Google program, Anastasia Kudrez, kindly wrote in her LinkedIn recommendation:

"If you have an opportunity to work together, it will be worth it. He knows his stuff..."

If you were diagnosed with ADHD as an adult (like me), you know it can feel like being handed a map in a language you don’t quite understand, after years of hiking the wrong trail.

That’s precisely why podcasts can be so powerful.

They offer real stories, expert advice, and brain-friendly tips you can absorb while walking the dog, washing dishes, or simply giving your overwhelmed brain a break.

As someone diagnosed with ADHD at 50, I host a show called ADHD Wise Squirrels, focused on helping late-diagnosed adults feel less alone—and more equipped. Below, I’ve rounded up my favorite podcasts that actually "get it."

These aren’t just for background noise. They’re packed with insight, validation, humor, and hope, and listed randomly because, like children, I could never pick a favorite!

🎧 Best ADHD Podcasts for Adults Diagnosed Later in Life

1. I Have ADHD Podcast – Kristen Carder
Practical, punchy, and relatable. Kristen, a certified ADHD coach, helps you navigate productivity, self-worth, emotional regulation, and more—with no shame and lots of realness.

2. Women & ADHD – Katy Weber
Katy interviews late-diagnosed women from all over the world. Her conversations are raw, powerful, and wildly validating. Even if you’re not a woman, you’ll relate to the themes of masking, burnout, and rediscovery.

3. ADHD Wise Squirrels – Dave Delaney
Yep—that’s me! Diagnosed at 50, I started this podcast to give fellow “Wise Squirrels” (aka late-diagnosed adults) a place to land. I interview ADHD experts, share honest stories, and offer tools to improve executive function, self-acceptance, and productivity—without toxic positivity and ADHD misinformation.
🎧 Listen on Apple Podcasts

4. ADHD Friendly Lifestyle – Moira Maybin
Moira is a teacher, coach, and late-diagnosed adult who brings her warmth and wisdom to every episode. She unpacks how to live more compassionately with ADHD—especially as a woman juggling multiple roles.

5. Hacking Your ADHD – William Curb
Short, actionable episodes designed for distracted minds. Will breaks down topics like overwhelm, focus, and productivity into digestible episodes that feel like a quick win.

6. The ADHD Adults Podcast – Dr. James Brown, Alex Conner & Neurodivergent Matt
British humor, science-backed info, and personal experiences collide in this ADHD podcast from the UK. It’s equal parts informative and laugh-out-loud funny.

7. ADHD Experts Podcast – ADDitude Magazine
Recordings of top experts answering real-world ADHD questions. You’ll hear names like Dr. Ned Hallowell and Dr. Russell Barkley, making it a great reference for evidence-based advice.

8. Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast – Nikki Kinzer & Pete Wright
Focused on systems, productivity, and time management, this long-running show is great if you want to learn how to do things differently with ADHD instead of just knowing about it.

9. ADHD reWired – Eric Tivers
Group coaching, deep dives, and honest conversations. Eric’s show is one of the longest-running ADHD podcasts out there—and for good reason.

10. ADHD Powerful Possibilities – Laurie Dupar
A newer show focused on embracing late-diagnosis as a jumping-off point for transformation. Great for building confidence and disrupting toxic productivity myths.

11. Translating ADHD – Asher Collins & Dusty Chipura
Two ADHD coaches help decode how ADHD brains actually work. Deeply validating and brain-based, it’s ideal if you want to better understand your executive function profile.

💡 Which ADHD Podcast Should You Start With?

There’s no one-size-fits-all brain. Some shows are more clinical, others more conversational. But they all share one goal: helping you better understand yourself.

Try a few. See what resonates. Follow the ones that make you feel more understood.

And if you’re craving a community of like-minded ADHD adults, check out ADHD Wise Squirrels. We’ve got articles, a free ADHD test, and other tools, expert interviews, and plenty of squirrelly wisdom for figuring this out together.

I said something during an interview recently that's been echoing in my head around coffee chats and mindful reflections on my life. It's this: There's power in proximity. And the future belongs to those who embrace that power.

Let me explain.

Until cyborgs become indistinguishable from humans (and let's all hope that day never arrives), nothing will replace the impact of sitting across from someone, shaking their hand, or sharing a laugh in real-time. That's how we know someone is real. It's tangible. It's human.

For all the wonder that the internet brought us—and I was there in the early days, podcasting, blogging, and tweeting before algorithms took over—the digital world was once a liberating tool for finding our people, as Douglas Rushkoff calls "the others." It was a lifeline.

If you were, say, a gay person in a rural town facing isolation or discrimination, the internet could be your safe harbor. Forums, BBS boards, and social networks created authentic connections that could spill over offline and into real life, where you could find yourself by connecting with others.

The magic wasn't just in the message. It was in the meeting.

I used to organize tweetups when I traveled. I'd post on Twitter, gather strangers at a pub or café, and we'd become friends. It was magic. I wrote about it in New Business Networking—how relationships became real when sealed with a handshake, a hug, and a high five. The magic wasn't just in the message. It was in the meeting.

Back then, Twitter was more campfire than dumpster fire. There were no algorithms, just people talking and sharing. You could form friendships and build communities. And then you'd meet those people at conferences, unconferences, even casual breakfast or cocktail events. My events, like Geek Breakfast and Nashcocktail, didn't need to monetize everything. I had a day job, benefits, and security. I did it because bringing people together lit me up — and still does.

But slowly, the platforms changed. The algorithms came. The investors needed returns, and the companies needed funds to improve stability. I'd prefer seeing fail whales and kittens with screwdrivers again instead of the hot mess Twitter has become. Call me old school, but Twitter will never be X (with the exception of an ex-social network), just as T.O. will never be The Six when describing Toronto, and Lower Broad will never be Honkeytonk Highway in Nashville (seriously, I've heard people say this lately).

As the power of proximity started slipping through our fingers, social media companies fooled us into thinking things were still okay online—they are not. Even defining the word "friend" became challenging, given how Facebook redefined it.

Meanwhile, the loneliness epidemic grew. With more screens, fewer eyes met across rooms: more scrolling, less serendipity. The places we once gathered — pubs, cafés, even offices — began to fade. I had a conversation with Professor Robin Dunbar, the evolutionary psychologist famous for Dunbar's Number (how many people we can maintain genuine relationships with), and he noted that pubs across the UK and Ireland are closing at an alarming rate. That matters. Pubs aren't just about pints. They are about presence—meeting and conversing with people from different walks of life.

This young couple met and got to know one another in pubs. They turned out okay. :)

Strangely enough, McDonald's has stepped into this role. In rural areas, elderly folks without access to country clubs or community centers now meet at the almighty golden arches. They sit in the corners with coffee and tiny burgers—not for the food, but for the company (well, maybe the fries and shakes). And you know what? Learning this made me rethink such junk food chains. Who knew they could contribute to our health in such a positive way, because widespread loneliness in the US poses health risks as deadly as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day. Real-life connection matters!

Smartphones are the new cigarettes.

Here's what I believe now: Smartphones are the new cigarettes. In twenty years, we'll look at pictures of ourselves — and especially our kids — buried in screens and wonder, What were we thinking? Just like parents used to smoke at the dinner table and in the car, we've handed them distraction machines and called it normal. But it's not.

This isn't a rant against technology. I love tech. I've been podcasting for twenty years. I've built a career on communication strategy. But I also believe that eye contact, presence, and physical closeness matter more than ever. In the early days of podcasting, meeting listeners in person was surreal — they'd ask about my kid's diaper rash, and I'd be momentarily thrown until I remembered: Oh, right. You actually know me and listen to our parenting podcast. That's the kind of bond podcasts used to build. We lose this when people start podcasts to get-rich-quick (they never do). These days, I'm proud of how Wise Squirrels listeners are coming together, and we are beginning to build a real community (more on that soon if you're following the show).

Algorithms prioritize outrage.

And social media today? It's not the same. The magic is rare. Algorithms prioritize outrage. Bots and deepfakes blur the line between real people and real good. I wouldn't start a relationship on social networks today — not because I'm antisocial, but because I don't know if the person messaging me is even a human when AI can fool even the savviest, and this is only going to get worse with no legislation and oversight.

This all might sound nostalgic — and maybe it is — but I don't think it's naïve. I think it's urgent.

We want to connect. We need to gather. And if we're not intentional about creating spaces for proximity—meetups, community events, retreats, shared workspaces, neighborhood pubs without TVs — we're going to forget how. The power is in proximity.

So what's next?

❤️ I want to be part of that solution.

I want to connect with organizations that educate parents, educators, and young people about the dangers of addictive technology, misinformation, disinformation, and artificial intelligence.

I believe we can do better. And I want to be part of that solution.

Over the years, I've discovered that my real strengths — my superpowers — are connection, communication, and authenticity. I have a knack for helping people feel seen, heard, and understood, especially those who often feel overlooked. I think fast, feel deeply, and use humor, empathy, and my communication skills to open up space for honest, human conversation. Whether at an event, on stage, in a coaching session, or just sharing a coffee or pint (non-alcoholic, please), I help people find clarity, confidence, community, and a stronger sense of themselves. I have also been known to become hyper-focused on causes I care deeply about and to become an outspoken advocate.

Where you come in...

Tell me, who should I know? What organizations, companies, or communities are leading the charge to reconnect us, in person and with purpose?

I appreciate you, and I look forward to hearing from you with your suggestions and connections. Thanks for reading until the end, I guess our attention spans aren't entirely shot - yet. 😉

I was recently repulsed by a trailer for a movie called Am I Racist? that pokes fun at DEI and related topics. I consider myself liberal and left-of-center with friends from every political persuasion, but the film trailer made the movie seem flat-out mean, making fun of people who are trying to do right or at least think they are. Then I noticed the film is from The Daily Wire and even includes locations in Nashville, which is unfortunate because once you get past the redneck cliches, drunken tourists, and mobile hot tubs, Nashville is a very diverse, warm, welcoming, and accepting city that is, unfortunately, attracting the wrong types of people like idiotic Nazis and the like, but I digress…

Later last night, I fell into a seemingly endless swiping session on YouTube Shorts, or maybe it was Instagram Reels; it doesn’t matter. I came across a funny clip of interviews with MAGA types saying ridiculous things. I noted the clips were from The Daily Show, a show I used to watch frequently, and suddenly, it hit me like a ton of clicks.

We are all just being played against one another so that other people can get rich from our rage, pride, fear, and ignorance. Such content increases views, shares, followers, comments, and TOS (time on site). The sites and profiles with the most of these make the most money from advertisers. It makes sense when you think about it, but the business model is unfortunate. This greed and competitiveness are why podcast hosts I used to enjoy end up platforming bad people with bad ideas, and I unsubscribe.

Yes, there are elements of ridiculousness in far left-leaning ideologies, just as there are on the right. And yes, I love humor and parody like the next guy. However, programs and movies such as these are designed for specific audiences, and when they include highly edited TikTok-worthy clips, we miss the context and the whole story from such man-in-the-street-type interviews. And when it’s all said and done, this is entertainment from companies who care more about the dollars they earn than the division they fuel.

It’s good to laugh at ourselves, but it’s unfair to use these pawns as scapegoats for our own pompous bullying entertainment. Of course, it’s great to make fun of those who purportrade such bad ideas, misinformation, disinformation, and hatred. I’m all for that to a point, but this has become a significant problem as social networks and news networks’ algorithms are tweaked to get our attention as we sit in siloed echo chambers online.

Turning the other cheek.

If you want to talk about religion, you’ll have to buy me a (non-alcoholic) beer. Still, I’ll share that I was raised Catholic and have read the idea of "turning the other cheek” in most other popular religious texts, like Hinduism, Buddhism, Judaism, Islam, Jainism, and Taoism. Each of these traditions promotes non-retaliation, forgiveness, and responding to harm with compassion or restraint. For the purpose of my idea and upbringing, let’s stick with turning the other cheek for a moment.

The idea is simple: it’s time for everyone to turn to the other channel and note its similarities. Spend a day or so watching and listening to news networks, YouTubers, and podcasters from the other side of your political preference. You’ll see familiar formats like attractive talking heads, fancy newsrooms with interactive touchscreens, stale sitcoms, and comedy shows you are used to in your preferred content. They may even have the same advertisers.

Turn your addictive device off and turn to your neighbors.

Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

Upon accepting that we are all being played, turn your addictive device off and turn to your neighbors, who, as it turns out, are much more similar to you than you think. Abraham Maslow figured this out over eighty years ago.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but this is still the United States. Or did I misread that, as I received my US citizenship around this time last year? And not so fast, Canada, the UK, Ireland, and everywhere else. This is happening where you are, too.

Yes, you will find the media that suits your personality and beliefs; these technologies are designed to ensure this. Enjoy the talking points, heated debates, and hilarious monologues. Just be sure to hit pause and question what and why you’re seeing or hearing what you’re seeing and hearing.

Just as I’ve explained to my kids ad nauseam, when you see something online or in the news that makes you feel angry, sad, fearful, or frustrated, pause for a moment, take a deep breath, and question the source of that item and consider what’s in it for them. It’s usually money, power, or a combination of both. It’s okay to be entertained and laugh at what you view, but remain mindful and diligent in seeing through this facade, remembering that most of this is just entertainment and it’s a business that, sadly, too often, is dividing us rather than uniting us.

Keep reading about social media and addictive tech.

This article first appeared on my Substack. Don’t miss future posts and the extras you’re likely missing.

Listeners to my podcast, ADHD Wise Squirrels, will already be familiar with the executive coach and author, Rob Hatch.

I loved his latest book, Success Frames: Why learning from success is the key to understanding what motivates and inspires us.

In "Success Frames," Hatch delves into the intricacies of building a framework for success by learning from both achievements and failures. The book highlights the importance of reflecting on one's experiences, emphasizing that true learning stems from analyzing both triumphs and mistakes.

Learning from Experience

Hatch underscores the value of reflection in the learning process, citing John Dewey's assertion that "adults don’t learn from doing. They learn by reflecting on what they have done." This reflection is crucial in understanding why things go right and how to replicate those successes. Hatch shares that while failures can illuminate gaps in knowledge or execution, they must be balanced with an understanding of what successful efforts look like.

Defining Success

Success is a subjective term, and Hatch emphasizes the importance of personalizing its definition. His research identified education, relationships, and character as the top three components of their success. Hatch encourages readers to define what success means to them, incorporating elements like financial freedom and personal growth into their definitions.

Building a Success Framework

A significant part of Hatch's approach involves creating frameworks based on successful experiences. These frameworks, which he calls "Success Frames," help individuals and organizations replicate positive outcomes. The beauty of these frameworks lies in their flexibility—they allow for customization based on the specific needs and goals of the people using them.

Hatch introduces various strategies to build these frameworks:

• ActionStacks: These are step-by-step checklists that guide the completion of recurring tasks. By pre-defining the steps, ActionStacks help automate processes and reduce decision fatigue.

• OODA Loop: This decision-making model involves observing, orienting, deciding, and acting. It’s a cyclical process that encourages continuous improvement and adaptation.

Leveraging Strengths

Hatch advocates for a strengths-based approach, echoing findings from Gallup that focusing on strengths significantly boosts engagement and performance. By leveraging what people do well, individuals and teams can achieve higher levels of success and satisfaction.

Practical Application

Throughout "Success Frames," Hatch provides practical advice on implementing these principles. He discusses the importance of planning ahead, reducing reliance on willpower, and creating environments conducive to success. For instance, Hatch recommends scheduling specific "success blocks" of time dedicated to critical projects, free from interruptions.

Learning from Others

Hatch also highlights the value of learning from others' successes. By identifying and connecting with individuals who have achieved what one aspires to, people can gain valuable insights and guidance. This network of successful individuals can provide support, advice, and inspiration.

Emotional and Mental Well-being

Understanding and managing emotions is another critical aspect of Hatch's framework. He points out that focusing on what’s going well can help counterbalance the natural tendency to dwell on problems. This positive focus can enhance resilience and motivation, making it easier to overcome challenges. Hatch shares his own experiences with his late diagnosis of ADHD and how considering his coping mechanisms can be impactful.

You can listen to my full interview with Hatch by clicking the play button below or visiting Wise Squirrels.

Rob Hatch's "Success Frames" offers a comprehensive guide to achieving personal and professional success. By reflecting on experiences, defining success on one's own terms, building adaptable frameworks, leveraging strengths, and learning from others, readers can create robust paths to their goals. The book serves as both a practical manual and an inspirational resource, encouraging individuals to take control of their success journeys and that’s exactly what I plan to do after reading it!

In the realm of business interactions, there exists what I call the Five P's that define whom I am meeting with Peer, Pal, Partner (hi, Laura), Professor, or Prospect. I was going to call this conundrum a problem or a plight (I'm a sucker for alliteration), but calling it a pickle seems more fitting. Let's define each "P" to provide clarity as to what I'm going on about. 

1. Peer: A professional acquaintance within your industry. 

2. Pal: A close friend whom you trust. 

3. Partner: Someone you collaborate with on projects or ventures. 

4. Professor: A mentor or advisor who provides guidance and expertise. 

5. Prospect: A potential client or business opportunity.

As someone who values human connections and aims to please, I would be entangled in this pickle during meetings. My initial aim is to forge new relationships, ideally transitioning them into pals. However, this approach presents challenges when business slows down, and I, as a sole proprietor or solopreneur, must take charge of sales. Yes, each person you meet with could fall into multiple categories, but focusing on one will help guide your meeting and the outcome. 

This year has been particularly slow for my business, prompting me to confront the Five-P Pickle head-on. The crux of the issue lies in balancing my desire to assist others with my need for support. I genuinely want to help when meeting someone but also require assistance. This creates a quandary: how do we ask for help without jeopardizing our relationships?

As a pal, you might provide valuable advice or emotional support, easing my worries about the uncertain future. As a peer, you could share your experiences and insights, offering guidance on overcoming challenges. As a professor, you might provide mentorship, accountability, and introductions based on your expertise and connections. And as a prospect, you could hire me for a speaking engagement, workshop, or coaching.

However, navigating these dynamics can be a pickle. How do you initiate conversations without coming across as opportunistic or desperate? 

The key lies in effective communication and a balanced approach before, during, and after each meeting:

Try this for yourself if you suffer from the Five-P Pickle.

1. Define Your Objectives: Clarify your intentions before the meeting. Are you seeking advice, mentorship, introductions, collaboration, or business opportunities?

2. Set Expectations: Express genuine interest in the other person and transparently communicate your business situation.

3. Be Specific: Clearly articulate your needs and how the other person can assist you.

4. Offer Reciprocity: Demonstrate your willingness to reciprocate assistance.

5. Respect Boundaries: Understand that not everyone can fulfill your immediate needs, and respect their boundaries.

6. Follow-up: After the meeting, express gratitude and summarize any agreements or action points. Consider the value you can bring to the other person; networking is a two-way street.

7. Diversify Your Network: Maintain a diverse network of contacts to tap into various resources and support systems.

8. Adapt and Learn: Continuously refine your approach based on feedback and experiences.

By approaching meetings with clarity, respect, and a willingness to give and receive, you can effectively navigate the Five-P Pickle and cultivate meaningful connections in both slow and busy business periods. Join the chat below, and let’s talk about this.

To celebrate Mental Health Awareness Month, I'm taking time off social media and the news to focus on myself and how serving you can bring the most value to the world. I've been especially distracted by the news and curated feeds of our edited lives across social networks lately, which has triggered feelings of imposter syndrome, jealousy, and anxiety. Stepping away is the best foot forward.

I wrote this in my journal, "You will never escape yourself and your thoughts, but you can change your thoughts, which will change yourself."

The most beneficial way I can spend my time is on my health, family, and friends, as well as by serving you at Futureforth and with my Nice Maker newsletter, special events, and Wise Squirrels podcast. Visit daveislive.com for those details. 

Subscribe to the Nice Maker, and I'll share more information soon. 

Be kind to yourself and others.   

ADHD is pretty interesting; an idea pops into my head that gets me excited, and I spend the day working on that project. Hyperfocus FTW!

However, I don’t always plan well or think strategically. Even strategically, it sounds like scheming in some greedy capitalist way. Rest assured, it’s not in this case, but I will happily earn as much money as possible. It’s kind of important with college tuition (times two) and retirement and such.

As you read in my previous post, I have rebooted the Nice Maker to focus on hosting special events where we can meet up in person once again. However, the Nice Maker has always been much more.

And so, without dwelling on the topic here. I invite you to sign up below to get the full picture of where I intend to take the Nice Maker, and I invite you to join in because it will be awesome.

It's lovely hearing from you both online and in person. I had a few recent encounters with folks I didn't realize were subscribers who asked about the return of the Nice Maker newsletter. I've been mulling over this thought for a while, and it's led me in a new/old direction. My decision will be essential for Nashville-area readers, but don't let that scare you off because I have plans for you, too. 

It's no secret how much I love connecting with people; I wrote a book about the topic. New Business Networking came because I spoke to a stranger at Jason's conference, and she became my publisher!

When I reflect on the sixteen years I've lived in Nashville, I think fondly of the memories of the people I've met from the events I've either organized or helped organize.

I co-founded BarCamp Nashville and PodCamp Nashville with Marcus Whitney, whom I worked with at Emma - my first job in Nashville. BarCamp planning led to meeting Mark Rowan, whom I worked for at Griffin, my second job in Nashville. Stasia Kudrez spoke at BarCamp, and that connection led to five years of speaking for Google. I founded Geek Breakfast to unite people between the events. I created Nashcocktail to connect the late risers who couldn't make breakfast. These two monthly networking events led to countless relationships with many wonderful people and rewarding opportunities for participants. 

I love you people! 

Nice people from Nashcocktail.

The truth is that 2023 has been a hell of a year for me professionally. I'm hearing similar feedback from many friends. Post-pandemic loneliness has been taking its toll on both our mental and physical health. Greedy algorithms and dodgy bots have hijacked our favorite social networking sites. Many of us work alone from our homes, talking more with ChatGPT than our friends, even when our loving families surround us.

The thing I crave most is human-to-human connection. The handshakes, high-fives, and hugs bring us together, and virtual reality hasn't replaced this and (hopefully) never will. I have a pretty decent track record of being this instigator, a misfit who loves getting nice people together. 

This is where you come in.

I've decided to start hosting events again. Most of these will be free, with some exceptions. One thing I've spun my wheels on is deciding whether I should start another breakfast thing, unconference, cocktail hour, a hiking group, a movie, or a comedy outing... and then I thought, screw it, why don't I do all of the above? Wouldn't this be a nice idea? 

And like the good old days of tweetups and meetups, why don't I organize similar events when traveling? Great things can happen at such get-togethers; just ask Merlene and Randy. 

And with this, I bring you the new and improved Nice Maker Substack newsletter. My goal is to communicate with you about upcoming events I'm hosting or attending. Sometimes, I will give you weeks' notice of an event; other times, I will invite you to join us for a hike in a few hours or a coffee that afternoon.

Of course, you don't have to commit to all the events I invite you to, but it is always nice to have you come along. I want to unite people again, and I hope you will join me.

NEXT STEPS…

Nice Makers, you are just three steps away from connection, collaboration, opportunities, friendships, and more... 

1. Subscribe to the newsletter and watch for each email.  

2. RSVP for an event. 

3. Show up for the event. Don't cancel at the last minute. 

I wish you a happy, healthy, and wealthy 2024! I hope to see you around.

Thanksgiving is coming up soon. It’s a beautiful time of the year to be grateful for all we have, including dinner with our extended family members with opposing political and religious views. That’s why I’m finally writing this book review and highly recommending you read it before you gather and all hell breaks loose around the turkey.

In his compelling book Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don't Know organizational psychologist Adam Grant explores the intricacies of cognitive biases, the importance of intellectual humility, and the art of rethinking. The journey through the pages of this thought-provoking work challenges readers to reconsider their preconceived notions and embrace a mindset of continuous learning; it’s a good way for all humans to behave.

The First-Instinct Fallacy

Grant introduces the concept of the first-instinct fallacy, highlighting our natural resistance to rethinking answers and the psychological phenomenon known as "seizing and freezing." We're encouraged to spend as much time rethinking as we do thinking, emphasizing the value of flexibility in our beliefs.

Cognitive Biases: Confirmation and Desirability

Grant addresses confirmation bias, our tendency to see what we expect, and desirability bias, where we see what we want. The brighter we are, the harder it is to recognize our own limitations, making it crucial to develop intellectual humility and acknowledge what we don't know.

The Curse of Knowledge

The curse of knowledge closes our minds to what we don't know. Recognizing cognitive blind spots becomes imperative, and Grant warns against the Dunning Kruger effect, where overconfidence prevents us from questioning our knowledge.

Evolving Beliefs and Learning

Grant argues that the purpose of learning is to evolve our beliefs, not merely affirm them. He stresses the importance of humility in the pursuit of knowledge and advises against the trap of the beginner's bubble, where overconfidence stifles curiosity.

Avoiding Belief Identity

Think Again suggests refusing to let beliefs become part of one's identity. By detaching from past selves, individuals may experience less depression and find wisdom in avoiding internalizing every thought and feeling.

Effective Communication and Leadership

Grant explores the role of effective communication and leadership, emphasizing the importance of engaging critics and remaining open to change. The book encourages reasonable dialogue, asking questions such as, "What evidence would make you change your mind?" to foster understanding.

The Art of Listening

Grant champions the art of listening as a means to open minds. Great listeners focus on making their audience feel smart and acknowledge complexity. Rather than bombarding others with facts, the book suggests asking about their sources, fostering a more credible and respectful discourse.

Think Again serves as a powerful reminder that the quest for knowledge is never finished. By embracing intellectual humility, acknowledging cognitive biases, and remaining open to rethinking, individuals can navigate the complex landscape of beliefs and ideas. Grant's insights offer a roadmap for personal growth, effective communication, and leadership grounded in the pursuit of truth. This is why it’s one of my favorite books; I expect you will love it, too.

In a world that often prioritizes speed, productivity, and conformity, it's easy to feel disconnected from our true selves. We often rush through life, barely pausing to reflect on who we are, what we value, and what brings us joy. This reality impacts everyone, regardless of their operating system. The Root Down process will help us better understand ourselves, respect our unique qualities, and forge deeper connections with others.

Understanding the Root Down Process

The Root Down process is a concept inspired by the experiences of individuals with ADHD, who often struggle to fit into a neurotypical world. My method encourages self-discovery, self-respect, and improved connections with others.

Here’s how it works.

Know Yourself - Understanding oneself is the foundation of personal growth and well-being. Knowing your strengths, weaknesses, interests, and values clarifies decision-making and helps you navigate life more effectively. For individuals with ADHD, this self-awareness is often heightened due to the daily challenges we face. However, anyone can benefit from taking time to explore their inner landscape.

When you know yourself, you can make choices that align with your true nature. This reduces inner conflict, boosts self-confidence, and increases overall life satisfaction.

Respect Yourself - Self-respect is the cornerstone of mental and emotional health. It means accepting yourself as you are, flaws and all. The ADHD community often faces stigmatization and misunderstanding, making self-acceptance challenging. Nonetheless, it's a vital step in the Root Down process.

Respecting yourself fosters self-esteem, resilience, and a sense of empowerment. It allows you to set healthy boundaries, say no when necessary, and prioritize your well-being.

Connecting Yourself - Humans are inherently social beings. Building meaningful connections with others is essential for emotional health and personal growth. However, these connections must be based on authenticity, not masks. We must seek out like-minded individuals who understand our unique challenges.

Authentic connections provide emotional support, reduce feelings of isolation, and enrich your life with diverse perspectives and experiences.

The Root Down will transform your workplace team or conference audience. Learn more and say hello here.

I have attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD); it's official. If you know me well, you'll smile knowingly as you sit back and think, oh, okay, that makes so much sense! 

I recently read, “People living with ADHD may have a variety of skills and abilities beyond those of their neurotypical counterparts. These may include hyperfocus, resilience, creativity, conversational skills, spontaneity, and abundant energy.” Does this sound like me? I’m a wise squirrel!

Heather had already assumed I had ADHD and repeatedly mentioned it to me over the years. She's a school teacher who has worked with hundreds (maybe thousands) of children of all types and knows the signs. Sidenote: Always listen to your spouse. ;)

Reflecting on my ADHD symptoms made me quite certain, and my doctor recently confirmed it. 

Do any of these ADHD symptoms sound familiar? 

• Distractible

• Impulsive

• Hyperactive

• Restless

• Disorganized

• Inattentive

• Impatient

• Fidgety

• Forgetful

• Careless

Reading my old report cards.

My mum kept my old report cards from elementary to high school. They have sat at the bottom of a cardboard box in a closet for over a decade. After my recent diagnosis, I retrieved them, and Heather and I laughed as we read the teachers' feedback because it all makes sense now. 

• Distractible - David is very creative but needs to focus on his lessons. He is often distracted by seemingly silly things. 

• Impulsive - David is a natural leader, but he makes poor choices. He could set a better example to others.

• Hyperactive - David needs to sit still in class and stop trying to make everyone laugh all of the time.

• Restless - David seems bored and often daydreams. His "funny" outbursts are very distracting to others.

• Disorganized - David needs to come to school better prepared and with his homework complete.

• Inattentive - David needs to focus on his teachers and their curriculum.

• Impatient - David seems to only focus on the topics he is interested in and often grows frustrated. 

• Fidgety - David should work on keeping his arms and legs still to avoid distracting his classmates.

• Forgetful - David needs to be reminded to do his homework constantly. He often forgets important details. 

• Careless - David shows great promise but doesn't seem to care about his grades or even showing up to class.

Finding the others.

I've unknowingly worked on each common ADHD trait throughout my career, and while I still suffer from these, I excel in other areas. I've learned to cope by being anal about managing my time and always being punctual, sending myself constant reminders, creating to-do lists, writing Post-It notes, journaling, practicing mindfulness and meditation, and using apps to lock myself out of distracting social media and news sites. 

I have honed my communication, networking, public speaking, workshop facilitating, and content marketing skills to build a sustainable business and serve my happy clients. Heck, even Google trusted me to represent them. I'm like a squirrel, distracted constantly, but I'm wise from my years of knowledge and practice.

As Douglas Ruskoff often says in his Team Human book and podcast, "Find the others." I'm working on a new podcast to share our stories, tools, and tips. Stay tuned for more on that. 

If you're a late-diagnosed adult with ADHD, I would love to hear from you. Email me. Naturally, I would also love to hear from you, whether you are neurotypical, have ADHD, have known it since childhood, or are a medical professional specializing in ADHD. Reach out to me.

The journey begins...

I'm at the start of a journey I've been on all my life. It's exciting to embark on this journey with the tools, knowledge, and relationships that I will need. I hope you find what I share helpful and consider how ADHD might affect the people in your life.

If you’d like to learn more, visit Wise Squirrels.

I have also developed a new keynote presentation about ADHD for neurotypical and neurodiverse audiences alike. I know The Root Down will change lives for the better.

PS: If you know anyone at TED, please tell them I am finally ready. The Root Down is the TED talk that’s been stewing inside me all my life. Let’s do this!

Ashton Applewhite

I recently interviewed Ashton Applewhite, an internationally recognized expert on ageism. Applewhite has been recognized by the UN and the World Health Organization as one of the Healthy Aging 5050 leaders working to make the world a better place to grow old. She has also written a book, "This Chair Rocks. A Manifesto Against Ageism," inspired by her interviews with people over 80 for a project called "So You Want to Retire?" that aimed to address everyday ageism assumptions.

During the conversation, we discuss the changing nature of work and retirement. We agree that the traditional concept of retirement is becoming obsolete as people live longer and need to retrain and learn new skills constantly. We also agree that work is essential for providing connection and purpose in life, especially for men. The information age has also provided new opportunities for people to work remotely and continue working at any age. We touch on the FIRE (financial independence retire early) movement and how retiring too early can harm some people, particularly business owners.

Language and culture play a role in how retirement is perceived and celebrated.

We spoke about retirement and the judgment that can come with it. The traditional retirement age is obsolete, and that retirement itself needs to be rethought. I acknowledge my privilege in having work I love and control over my schedule. We also mention how language and culture play a role in how retirement is perceived and celebrated. We both agree that aging is not necessarily sad or depressing and the importance of continuous learning and growth.

During the conversation, we discussed how aging is fascinating and touched on fields of study and aspects of the human condition. We also agree that referring to someone as "old" is not inherently insulting but only becomes problematic when attached to value judgments. We then shift to embracing aging and how physical function is not necessarily linked to age. Personal experiences such as my annoying back pain and eye problems are shared to illustrate this point.

We discuss how apprehension about aging is often related to stereotypes and stigma around physical and mental capacity, which is ableism rather than ageism. While physical and cognitive decline is inevitable with aging, it affects each person differently. The negative aspects of aging, such as the possibility of running out of money or ending up alone, are legitimate fears. Still, society tends to only focus on the negative side of aging. I embrace both the positives and negatives of aging and question the notion that everything about getting old is awful while everything about being young is great.

Asking for help should not be shameful, and society should work to promote interdependence rather than independence.

During the podcast, we discuss how society reflexively blames age for various physical issues and how this can be harmful. People should ask for help more often and destigmatize asking for and accepting help. Individuals should remember that everyone needs help at some point, and it is a two-way transaction. Asking for help should not be shameful, and society should work to promote interdependence rather than independence.

We also share a story of an older woman who was offended when a young man offered to help her at a self-checkout machine and explain that the problem is not the offer itself but the assumption that the person needs help solely based on their age or appearance. We emphasize the importance of listening to and respecting the answer when offering help and suggest a kinder approach of offering seats to anyone who might need it rather than solely based on age or disability.

The podcast highlights the need for self-awareness and challenging internalized stereotypes to create a more inclusive and respectful society. During the conversation, we discuss the importance of respecting everyone regardless of age and physical ability. We agreed that ageism is deeply ingrained in Western culture, and we must examine our biases towards aging and physical ability. We also mention the benefits of living in mixed-age communities where everyone has visibility and purpose.

Listen to our full interview on the Nice Podcast.

Let's talk about something important today - defining our values. I firmly believe that understanding our values is the key to living a fulfilling life and becoming effective leaders.

Now, I know that defining your values can be tough. It's not always easy to put into words what really matters to you. But don't worry; I've got some prompts to help you out.

First off, ask yourself: what really lights me up? What brings me joy and fulfillment in life? Is it spending time with loved ones, pursuing your passions, or making a difference in the world? Think about what motivates you and drives you to take action.

Next, consider your non-negotiables. What are the things that you absolutely refuse to compromise on, no matter what? Maybe it's integrity, honesty, or authenticity. These values are the foundation of who you are and what you stand for.

It's also important to think about your legacy. What do you want to be remembered for? What impact do you want to have on the world? This can help you uncover values related to leadership, social justice, or environmentalism. Consider your legacy.

“Personal value is the kind of value we receive from being active instead of passive, creative instead of consumptive. ”

— Clay Shirky.

And finally, reflect on the people you admire. What qualities do they possess that you aspire to? Is it kindness, generosity, or courage? These values can give you insight into what matters most to you.

I know this process isn't easy. But remember, defining your values is an ongoing journey. Your values may shift and change over time, and that's okay. The important thing is to stay true to what matters most to you and to live in alignment with your values every day.

I believe that your true personal value comes from the impact you have on others and the world, not from what you have or achieve. Defining your personal values is an essential step towards building a fulfilling life and achieving personal growth.

As social beings, we all crave human connection and interaction. We thrive on forming relationships and building bonds with others. However, sometimes we find ourselves on the opposite end of the spectrum, feeling lonely and disconnected from those around us. Even surrounded by people who love us, loneliness can rear its ugly head.

Recent studies have highlighted the detrimental effects of loneliness on our physical and mental health, with some even calling it the modern killer disease. Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Brigham Young University, collated data from seventy studies and found that social isolation, living alone, and feeling lonely increased the chances of dying by about 30 percent. Not good.

On the other hand, spending time with friends can positively impact our health and well-being. It's not just about having a large number of friends but rather the sense of relaxedness that comes with spending quality time with them. According to Nick Christakis and James Fowler, authors of Connected, having happy friends who live nearby can increase our own happiness by 25-34 percent.

But it's not just about the number of friends we have; it's also about the quality of those friendships. A depressed friend is six times more likely to make us depressed than a happy friend is to make us happy. And while we may think of our online connections as friends, studies have shown that the number of Facebook friends we have doesn't necessarily correlate with the size of our social circles in the real world. I have thousands of friends on Facebook, so I know that’s true. I hardly heard from any of them during my recent hiatus from social media.

We need human connection and interaction to thrive

So, what makes a good friend? Professor Robin Dunbar, an evolutionary psychologist, has spent years studying the behavior of wild animals and exploring social evolution. He found that our networks are limited to around 150 slots, and we first slot in our family members before filling the remaining slots with unrelated friends. Dunbar also discovered that our number of friends correlates with the size of the key parts of our brains used in social situations. And yes, if you’re thinking “Dunbar’s Number,” you’re thinking of the right guy.

In today's world, where we are more connected than ever, it's easy to mistake online interactions for real friendships. But as Dunbar points out, it's important to have meaningful, offline connections with others before disaster strikes. These relationships are built on a sense of obligation and the exchange of favors, people whom we wouldn't feel embarrassed about asking for help.

In the end, we need to find a balance between socializing and solitude, between friendship and loneliness. It's okay to enjoy spending time alone, but it's important not to isolate ourselves completely. As social beings, we need human connection and interaction to thrive, to feel happy and fulfilled. So, reach out to an old friend, join a new group, and make meaningful connections that will enrich your life.

I recommend picking up a copy of Dunbar’s book, Friends: Understanding the Power of our Most Important Relationships. He wrote, “Friendship and loneliness are two sides of the same social coin, and we lurch through life from one to the other.” Most of this blog post is inspired by notes I took reading his book and our conversation on my podcast.