Photo by Dave Delaney. All Rights Reserved.

My kids are nine and ten years old. For the last several years, I have been recording them on the morning of their birthdays. Each birthday, I use the voice recorder app on my iPhone, to ask the birthday boy or girl one simple question. 

What do you want to be when you grow up?

I have been fascinated with this question since I began to pause and reflect upon my own career, throughout my adulthood. I find the answer to what we truly want to do for a living can often be found in the things we most enjoyed as children. 

When my brother, Mike, was about eight, I performed magic and comedy for his friends at his birthday party. I was probably eleven years old. I was a class clown. I loved making my friends laugh, but the ultimate win was cracking up a teacher. I remember Ms. Hickey once laughing hysterically as she turned to the chalkboard to hide her laughter from the class. She couldn't reveal that I had her busting her gut. 

Years later, I would study improv comedy at Second City. I even had my own improv comedy troupe when I lived in Ireland. Improv is something I've been itching to do again. In fact, I'm (finally) going out this Saturday to see an improv show in Nashville. It only took me eight years living here to finally do this.

I loved creative writing in school. I used to write short stories, poetry, and I wrote in journals religiously. As I got older, the journalling stopped. It's something I have started doing again recently. Of course, I have this blog to share my thoughts with you. I also write on the Futureforth blog, Tennessean newspaper, and in my personal email newsletter (you are subscribed, right?). 

I loved drama class in school too. My earliest memory of performing on stage was doing Little Red Riding Hood in Grade 3. I had been demoted from my role of the lumberjack hero because I had goofed off one too many times in class. Instead, I was re-cast as a tree. I was more of a prop than I was an actor. My direction was to simply tilt my body horizontally as if to collapse slightly as the replacement lumberjack swung his axe into me. From there he would hear Little Red Riding Hood’s desperate yells for help and run to her rescue. 

My parents sank in their seats and my teacher's face became raging red with anger. 

When the lumberjack scene arrived. I stood erect with my arms spread out like a great oak tree. My parents and the audience probably noted my stylish wardrobe of a green turtleneck, dark brown corduroy pants, and trendy Buster Brown shoes. The lumberjack swung his axe into my side, but instead of following my direction, I had a better idea. I slowly fell forward with my face nearly smashing against the stage floor. I fell like a real oak tree wood, “Timber!”.  The audience roared in applause and laughter as my parents sank in their seats and my teacher's face became raging red with anger. 

I love making people laugh. I love being on stage in front of an audience. I know this is why I became a speaker. I always leave the audience informed, but make sure they laugh during my presentations too. There is nothing worse than a dry, boring speaker. 

Recording what Ella and Sam want to be when they grow up is an exercise for their own reflection as they get older. The recordings are private. I have no intention of sharing them with the world. I just want them to realize that as kids, they already have wonderful ideas on what they will be when they grow up. I want them to stay in tune with these ideas as they grow. I don’t want the system to distract them from following their true passions. Sir Ken Robinson has an excellent book called The Element. Robinson wrote, “The Element is about discovering your self, and you can’t do this if you’re trapped in a compulsion to confirm. You can’t be yourself in a swarm.” 

What did you want to be when you grew up?

I bet your favorite duties in your job stem from your childhood passions. Maybe you are lucky enough to do what you have always dreamed of doing. Or maybe you are stuck in a job that has nothing to do with the true you. Take some time to jot down what you wanted to be as a kid. Add the things you enjoyed most as a child. Now ask yourself how you can begin to weave these interests and passions into your work. 

Honesty is the best policy.

I buggered up scheduling a meeting with a client today because I mixed up timezones (sorry Zoe). I apologized to her and told her the truth. My mum taught me that honesty is the best policy. Your mom (or maybe Ben Franklin) probably taught you this too. 

Today, I saw a story on LinkedIn that inspired this post about honesty. No matter how clever you think you are in concocting a lie, you aren't. This lie cost a guy a job and it wasn't even necessary. 

Brian Connors, Managing Director and Co-Founder of AllSearch Professional Staffing wrote this post. 

Never a dull day in Recruiting. A "Professional" Sales/Management Candidate cancelled an interview today because they and child had a bad car accident, child had to go to the hospital. Even sent us the pic. How sad right? Not so fast, Google "bmw car accident" if you will. I guess our only remaining question for this future superstar of business is, just how did you get from the streets of India to a hospital in Atlanta in just 3 hours?!

I had to search the image myself. I use the Google Image Search Chrome extension to easily search any image online.

Sure enough, I found the original photo on Hindu.com by Sushil Kumar Verma.

"Honesty and integrity are absolutely essential for success in life." - Zig Ziglar. 

Being dumped was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I was seeing an Australian girl for a while when I lived in Galway, Ireland. One day she called me to tell me we needed to talk. That’s never a good sign. We met up at her place after I got off work. She sat me down and nervously got to the point. She wanted to break up. 

I knew she wanted to break up when she said we needed to talk. It was either that or she was pregnant. Thank god it was the former. What I didn’t know was I would meet my future wife as a result.

The reality was I knew we weren’t soul mates. She was from Australia and I was from Canada. We weren’t going to leave Ireland together. All good things come to an end, I understood that. Instead of dwelling on the end of our short relationship, I suggested we should celebrate it. I smiled, accepted my fate and invited her out to dinner — on a breakup date.

Naturally, she was hesitant to go for dinner with me, since she literally just broke up with me. She agreed to the date once she was convinced that I had accepted her wish to terminate the relationship. 

The Home Plate was this cute little restaurant in Galway. The food was delicious and affordable for backpackers and locals on a budget. It was perfect for people like me. I think the cozy place had about ten tables at the most. 

What can I get y'all?

My ex-girlfriend and I were seated together at a two-seater near the kitchen. We were talking about mutual friends and local gossip when our waitress approached, “What can I get y’all?” I found her attractive and thought her American southern accent was odd to hear in a tiny restaurant on the west coast of Ireland. 

Dinner was a bit of a blur. I probably had the chimichanga or the chicken curry, both were my favorite dishes on the menu. After we ate, I hugged my former girlfriend and bid her farewell. Rather than heading back to my lonely flat, I went to the pub, which was conveniently located below my lonely flat. 

The evening festivities were as fun as always. I mingled with local friends and fellow backpacker chums over many pints of Guinness. The early evening became later that night, and low and behold, that cute waitress entered the pub! I approached her (with liquid courage) and exclaimed that she was my waitress earlier that night. She affirmed my statement. I then explained that I had been on a breakup date. In fact, I was now a “free man”. 

As you would expect, she was not impressed by the statement. I believe she replied with something polite like, “that’s good for you”. We didn’t talk much more that night. We both left with our respective friends and that was that — for the time being. I had no idea she would become my wife and mother of our children. 

When you are a foreign backpacker, working at a hostel, living in a city with 60,000 people, you end up mixing with the same people often. I ran into her several times after the first chance encounter. We chatted and started to get to know one another a little more each time we ran into each other — usually in a pub.

Heather cured my hangover! 

One day, weeks later, I was finishing my shift working at the hostel. I was sleep deprived and dealing with a hangover. I was ready to pull myself away from the reception desk, down the stairs, up the street, into my flat, and under my blankets to crash for the night. I was cashing out when the beautiful, blonde waitress from Tennessee entered to my surprise.

Heather approached the desk and asked me what I was doing that night. I told her I was hungover and ready to get some sleep. She frowned and said that it was too bad. I asked why and she replied, “because I was going to see if you wanted to join me for a pint.” 

Suddenly I felt one-hundred percent again. My foggy fatigue was instantly converted to positive energy. It was a miracle, Heather had cured my hangover! We left the hostel together and spent the evening laughing, talking, and listening to the finest Irish traditional music in the world at The Crane pub. Our first date of many over the next seventeen years (and counting).

A breakup could have been the worst thing ever. Instead, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. As painful as they can be, breakups happen for a reason. 

What's your biggest regret? 

A chalkboard was set up in the middle of New York City asking passersby to write down their biggest regrets. As the board filled up, the filmmakers noticed that all of these responses had one alarming thing in common. Do the things you'll regret not doing.

More common life regrets from the blackboard: 

• Not saying "yes" to things.
• Being too afraid of failure.
• Wasting time. 
• Not going after your dreams.
• Not keeping in touch with friends.
• Not finding the time.
• Just doing plan B.
• Staying in your comfort zone.
• Not pursuing your career.
• Not getting involved.
• Not speaking your mind.
• Not following your dreams.

The moral of the story is to treat every day as a clean slate. Do the things you'll regret not doing. 

Take a moment today to jot down your own regrets. Life goes by quickly, consider doing something different today to put you in the right direction. We all need to aim to reduce our regrets. What are you going to do?

When I worked at that gas station, I had a regular customer who always cracked me up. He was an elderly man with a thick British accent. When he came in each week, I would ask him how he was. He would stare up into my eyes from his seat and give me a sly smile. 

"Do you have an hour? I am going to need about an hour or more to tell you how I am. It's a complicated question with a complex answer. I would love to tell you how I am. Will your boss mind if you slip away for sixty minutes to listen to me tell you how I am?" 

I would smile and awkwardly reply that I didn't think that would be possible. He would nod and explain that I should refrain from asking how he was doing if I didn’t really want to know the answer. I always laughed and appreciated his candor. 

The Business Rhetorical Question

The biggest business lie is the one you answer when someone asks you how your business is. I have heard this question hundreds of times at networking events and conferences. The answer we always hear is that business is great, we are very busy. It's a lie. 

The truth is that most people wouldn't attend networking events or conferences if business was booming. They attend to meet new people and hopefully land new business, and that's perfectly fine. That's part of what networking is all about.

I love Chris Brogan's take on the "busy" answer. He's not busy, he's blessed. 

Maybe the next time someone asks you how your business is you should be honest. Tell them you are seeking a new client. They may be able to provide you with an introduction, or perhaps they can hire you. Just don't take sixty minutes to answer their question.

I am currently writing this from a small town north of Toronto, Ontario. I had lunch with an old friend who is a steel salesperson today. He spends his time driving from metal shop to metal shop across the province meeting with owners to close sales and build his network. He is old school and it works for him.

I asked him for his advice on how he makes sales and he told me to knock on some doors.

Most of my business at Futureforth comes from word of mouth. The trouble is, I sometimes depend on it too much. Instead of knocking on doors, I wait for the business owners to knock on mine. It doesn't sound very proactive, right? It isn't.

Instead of driving back to his office after our lunch, he was going to pop into a few businesses he noticed as he drove to meet me. He literally will walk in unannounced and introduce himself. He's not a pushy, sales guy. He simply wants to meet the owners and get on their radar. 

People do business with those they know, like and trust.

He will ask the owners if they need any steel now. If so, he will offer to get a quote. If the owner says no, he will suggest that he give them a quote to share his prices. My friend is a charming, good guy. He's not a slick, sales jerk. 

His main goal is to make people like him. He reminded me that people do business with those they know and like. If they like him, they will decide to give him a chance for business. Once he makes a sale, he's in with that new customer. 

It all starts with knocking on some doors. It was a good reminder for me to do the same. How about you?

Let me begin by explaining that I do not work in the film industry, nor do I shoot animals. Having come from Toronto, it's hard not to have learned a thing or two about how movies are made. I expect coming from Nashville; most natives know enough about hunting (whether they do it or not). 

In the film industry, Toronto is known as Hollywood North. At any given moment, you can see multiple film shoots occurring. The city can easily be transformed to resemble New York or Chicago because of the similar architecture. Filmmakers get a nice tax break, and that weak Canadian dollar helps seal the deals too. Chicago, the movie, was filmed in Toronto. 

After I returned to Toronto from backpacking Europe, I worked nights and some days at an international youth hostel. I intended to meet fellow backpackers but also save enough money to return to Ireland for a year (which I did, and then some). 

I used to work Saturday or Sunday mornings at the hostel. If things were slow and we had vacancies, I would drive to the local bus station to find international backpackers arriving. I would happily approach them, show them fliers for the hostel, and give them a free ride if they needed one. Most people eagerly took me up on the offer.

Officers swarmed out of nowhere with their guns drawn!

Photo from Flickr by dtstuff9. 

I clearly remember one Saturday morning as I waited for future hostel guests to arrive at the bus station. The sky was blue, and the sun shone brightly at the busy downtown intersection. Suddenly, unmarked police cars swarmed the streets. Undercover officers swarmed out of nowhere with guns drawn at a man crossing the road. They each yelled, "Get down with your hands up!" The bad guy dropped to his knees; he knew they had him captured. There was no point in resisting or trying to escape. 

As a Toronto native, I knowingly glanced around for the cameras. Yep, I spotted it. A large crane was at the corner with a camera facing down on the scene below. An action-filled shot like that was presumably a major scene of the film. The director yelled, "Back to ones, people", and they began to shoot it again - and again and again. 

Each time the police takedown began, unsuspecting pedestrians would duck for cover thinking it was all real. The pedestrians were usually weary travelers having just stepped foot into Toronto from hours of travel. Welcome to Hollywood North. Soon after they learned it was a film shoot, the embarrassed people would laugh about experiencing a staged police takedown, right as they stepped off the bus! Now that is a story to share with your loved ones back home.

The part where I got embarrassed...

When I moved to Nashville, I was taking a walk around the surrounding neighborhoods. As I walked past a house, I saw a man outside in a camouflage jacket and scruffy beard. A large Ford F-150 truck was parked in his driveway with a huge apparatus attached to the trailer. It was a large steel crane that could be elevated with a stand at the top for the camera. I instantly got excited at the thought that movies were being shot in Nashville too. 

I smiled at the man and asked him what he was shooting. He looked dumbfounded and yelled, "Deer!" I could swear he added a "duh" to his reply. When I returned home to Heather, I told her the story. She laughed out loud as she explained what a deer stand was. What I thought was a camera crane was a tripod for hunters to get above their targets to blast them to bits. 

I had misidentified the hunting accessory. At least I was correct about something getting shot from that thing. In my defense, nowadays, many hunters film their victims from their deer (or tree) stands and post them on YouTube. So maybe I wasn't completely wrong. Okay, I was. :) 

Has this ever happened to you? What object did you mistakenly take for something else?

I work hard serving my clients, preparing for speaking engagements, and writing. I do my best to spend as much time as possible with my family too. It's exhausting working all of the time. Add in parenting and caring for Max, and well... I'm beat! 

This weekend the plan was to leave our kiddos with my wonderful in-laws, and to head for the hills with Heather. We booked a cabin, fully equiped with a wood-burning fireplace and hot tub. We were overdue for a relaxing weekend unplugged.

When we awoke this morning there was already some accumulation of snow. Winter was (finally) upon us. Friends joke about it because I'm vocal about craving snow this time each year. I get jealous seeing the white stuff in friend's Instagram feeds elsewhere. Today I got what I wanted, but with bad timing. 

4 inches of snow and still falling...

We attempted to drive downtown to drop the kids off, but we never made it. It took us 3 hours to drive 20 miles. We were stuck in standstill traffic along Interstate 40 for 2 hours. As we exited the interstate we got stuck in the snow. Some kind passersby stopped to help push our car. Heather took the wheel, and I joined the good people who were shoving our car forward.

WSMV even caught our antics and we made the news. Our phones were blowing up with texts from our pals who caught us on the news. I made a silly video below to share for your viewing pleasure. We're the gray Highlander. 

As I write this, the snow is still coming down. We have about 4 inches of the white stuff so far, and we expect about four more. Bring it on! 

Be sure to check out the fun photos and videos with the hashtags #snowmaggedon2016 and #nashvillesnow. You can bet I'm having a blast playing in it. You can follow my photos on Instagram if you like. 

Photo from Flickr by C.C. Chapman.

One thing you will learn about me by subscribing to this blog is I have had many jobs in my life. I love sharing stories about them, like fending off jerks at gas stations. I have also worked at many bars and restaurants over the years. This story is about a lesson I learned as a server that you can apply to your business. 

I once worked for a restaurant/folk bar / Jewish buffet/club in Toronto called Free Times Café (still going strong). Like many restaurants and bars in T.O., this one is in an old home. It is decorated with funky lamps and mismatched tables and chairs. It has a cool, eclectic, artsy vibe. 

Nights for me were filled with folk music and serving beer; Sundays had live Klezmer bands and enough latkes and blintzes to make anyone cry, "Oy!". I also had busy weekday lunches, serving neighboring office workers and college students. At Free Times, I learned the secret power of a free slice of pie. 

The Secret Power of a Free Slice of Pie

One weekday, I was serving a table of four women over lunch. One of the women was annoyed because her meal came out much later than the other three. The kitchen was backed up, a mistake was made with her order, and she had to wait and eat after her friends had dug into their dishes. 

As a server, you have only a few things to get right to serve people. Getting the orders correct and high-quality is essential to ensuring customers are happy. In addition, smiling and remembering names always helps. Going that extra mile in any way possible will ensure a nice tip. 

The hungry woman was angry about the situation. I couldn't blame her. There she sat, salivating, as her colleagues pigged out. I knew the secret to making everything good again - the pie. 

We usually had two different cakes or pies each day of the week. The server's job was to pretty up the plate and up-sell them to customers. A slice of pie already looks nice, but add a little syrup, whipping cream, and a dusting of cinnamon or chocolate powder, and boom! That's a fine-looking dish. 

One dollar earned us a lifelong customer.

After clearing the woman's plate, I delivered a delicious-looking pie plate. I apologized for the mix-up in the kitchen and exclaimed dessert was on me. Her anger changed to joy as her eyes lit up in elated delight. Her companions all burst out with a supportive laugh. All was good in the world again. The event made the lunch a positive and memorable experience. 

Not only did the lady leave happy, but she returned several times each month for lunch with friends. One of her colleagues returned for lunch soon after. She sheepishly admitted she had hoped I would mess up her order so she could get the free pie, too. 

One free slice of pie cost the house less about a buck. One dollar earned us a lifelong customer. I would say it was worth every cent.

What can you offer your disgruntled customers to make things great again? It probably won't cost you as much as you think. 

We have challenged one another in the NBN Club to read two books each month for the year. You may scoff at the simple quest of reading twenty-four books in a year, but to me it is a challenge. What can I say? I am a slow reader. 

My first book of the new year is Blue Ocean Strategy, Expanded Edition: How to Create Uncontested Market Space and Make the Competition Irrelevant by Renée Mauborgne and W. Chan Kim. Blue Ocean Strategy presents a systematic approach to making the competition irrelevant and outlines principles and tools any company can use to create and capture their own blue oceans. Cirque du Soleil and Curves are two such companies that have created their own blue ocean businesses. As I read the book, I pictured Julien Smith's Breather as a great example as a company that found a blue ocean.  

The following are fifty takeaways from the book. I recommend reading the book in its entirety to fully grasp each point. The takeaways include points and questions you should consider regarding your own business. It definitely made me rethink some aspects of my digital marketing consulting business, Futureforth.

50 Takeaways From Blue Ocean Strategy

1. The only way to beat the competition is to stop trying to beat the competition.
2. Value innovation occurs only when companies align innovation with utility, price, and cost positions.
3. …those that seek to create blue oceans pursue differentiation low cost simultaneously. 
4. the creation of blue oceans is about driving costs down while simultaneously driving value up for buyers. 
5. Effective blue ocean strategy should be about risk minimization and not risk taking.
6. …you must begin by reorienting your strategic focus from competitors to alternatives, and from customers to non-customers of the industry.
7. Every great strategy has focus, and a company’s strategic profile, or value curve, should clearly show it. 
8. By applying the four actions of eliminating, reducing, raising, and creating, they differentiate their profiles from the industry’s average profile.
9. A good tagline must not only deliver a clear message but also advertise an offering truthfully, or else customers will lose trust and interest. 
10. …companies must understand how to read value curves. 
11. Rarely do sellers think consciously about how their customers make trade-offs across alternative industries.
12. What are the alternative industries to your industry?
13. By looking across buyer groups, companies can gain new insights into how to redesign their value curves to focus on a previously overlooked set of buyers. 
14. What is the context in which your product or service is used? What happens before, during, and after? Can you identify the pain points? How can you eliminate these pain points through a complementary product or service offering?
15. If you compete on emotional appearance, what elements can you strip out to make it functional? If you compete on functionality, what elements can be added to make it emotional?
16. The process of discovering and creating blue oceans is not about predicting or preempting industry trends. 
17. Focus on the big picture, not the numbers.
18. …the strategic profile with high blue ocean potential has three complementary qualities: focus, divergence, and a compelling tagline. If a company’s strategic profile does not clearly reveal those qualities, its strategy will likely be muddled, undifferentiated, and hard to communicate. 
19. A company should never outsource its eyes.
20. A company’s pioneers are the businesses that offer unprecedented value.
21. They should use innovation because, without it, companies are stuck in the trap of competitive improvements.
22. Reach beyond existing demand.
23. Do you seek out key commonalities in which buyers value?
24. Non-customers tend to offer far more insight into how to unlock and grow a blue ocean than do relatively content existing customers. 
25. What are the key reasons first-tier non-customers want to jump ship and leave your industry?
26. Harboring within refusing non-customers, however, is an ocean of untapped demand waiting to be released. 
27. …by looking to second-tier non-customers and focusing on the key commonalities that turned the away from the industry.
28. What are the key reasons second-tier non-customers refuse to use the products or services of your industry?
29. …explore whether there are overlapping commonalities across all three tiers of non-customers. 
30. …retrain existing customers and seeking further segmentation opportunities.companies need to build their blue ocean strategy in the sequence of buyer utility, price, cost, and adoption.
31. Does your offering unlock exceptional utility? Is there a compelling reason for the mass of people to buy it?
32. Is your offering priced to attract the mass of target buyers so that they have a compelling ability to pay for your offering?
33. Can you produce your offering at the target cost and still earn a healthy profit margin?
34. The last step is to address adoption hurdles. What are the adoption hurdles in rolling out your idea?
35. Yet it did so many different tasks that people count t not understand how to use it. 
36. Unless the technology makes buyers’ lives dramatically simpler, more convenient, more productive, less risky, or more and fashionable, it will not attract the masses no matter how many awards it wins. 
37. Create a strategic profile that passes the initial litmus test of being focused, being divergent, and having a compelling tagline that speaks to buyers. 
38. To secure a strong revenue stream for your offering, you must set the right strategic price.
39. It is increasingly important, however, to know from the start what price will quickly capture the mass of target buyers. 
40. People will not buy a product or service when it is used by few others. 
41. …the strategic price you set for your offering must not only attract buyers in large numbers but also help you to retain them… an offering’s reputation must be earned on day one, because brand building increasingly relies heavily on word-of-mouth recommendations spreading rapidly through our networked society. Start with an offer that buyers can’t refuse.
42. They key here is not to pursue pricing against the competition within an industry but rather to pursue pricing against substitutes and alternatives across industries and non industries. 
43. To hit the cost target, companies have three principal levers. 
44. Partnering, however, provides a way for companies to secure needed capabilities fast and effectively while dropping their cost structure. 
45. A business model built in the sequence of exceptional utility, strategic pricing, and target costing produces value innovation.
46. In every organization, there are people, acts, and activities that excretes a disproportionate influence on performance.
47. People remember and respond most effectively to what they see and experience: “Seeing is believing”.
48. Numbers are disputable and uninspiring.
49. Showing the worst reality to your superiors can also shift their mindset fast. 
50. You must create a culture of trust and commitment that motivates people to execute the agreed strategy - not to the letter, but to the spirit. 

Have you read Blue Ocean Strategy? Did it make you rethink your business? 

I'm always on the lookout for my next books to read this year. Please leave a comment with your favorite business books. 

When Heather and I lived in Edinburgh, Scotland, we used to frequent a small fitness club located in the Caledonian Hotel. Each day after work we would meet to visit the club on our way home. We were very dedicated to getting healthy because it was January, that's when we all have health on our minds. 

Many nights would be spent at the pub. We shared a flat with eight wonderful people, but it was tight quarters, so the pub was a nice escape. We would usually pig out on fish and chips along the walk home after the pub. A not-so-healthy choice. 

I can't remember exactly when it was in our fitness club foray when we discovered that our passes gave us access to the hot tub, but we were elated when we realized this. We would often hit the weights and cardio machines first, then we would hop into the hot tub and soak our troubles away. 

At some point things changed. We would skip the weights, do the cardio, and use the hot tub. Then we started skipping the cardio and we would just soak in the hot tub. It was probably early February when we would meet at the pub first and then go to the hot tub. You can see where this is going, right? 

Needless to say, we decided not to renew our health club memberships. We were shameful and disappointed that we didn't stick to our healthy New Year resolutions.

It's now getting to that time that many of us who made resolutions are slipping or have given up entirely. Here are some ways to improve your willpower to get back on the horse. 

8 Steps to Increase Willpower

I came across a fantastic article from the Guardian about willpower by Will Storr. In it, he writes about Walter Mischell's book, The Marshmellow Test. Mischell shares how to improve your willpower in seven steps. Here they are from the article:

1. Transform the meaning of stimuli "It sounds like a heavy phrase but what does it mean?" says Walter Mischel. "I have coeliac disease. When I eat gluten, I get a burning itch. So when I look at pasta, I don't think of it as yummy, delicious and great, I think of it as poisonous, connected to the itch."

2. Distance yourself Look at yourself as if you're a fly on the wall. Describe yourself to yourself as if you were another person. A simple thing such as referring to yourself by your name rather than "I, me" gives you an advantage.

3. Make the object of your desire abstract Pretend it's not really there. Put a frame around it in your head and make believe it's only a picture.

4. Eat chocolate If you need a momentary boost, scoff sugar. (This tip is less successful for dieters).

5. One thing at a time Willpower is like a muscle that gets fatigued. If you're dieting, don't try to give up smoking at the same time.

6. Practice small Willpower can be strengthened by regular practice, according to Roy Baumeister, who claims that even things as simple as making sure you're always sitting up straight and speaking in complete sentences can build up your power of self-control, which will improve in other areas.

7. Eat well Evidence suggests that self-control draws disproportionately on blood glucose, which is a fuel for the brain. Sleeping well and eating food that provides a long, slow release of sugar helps.

8. The 'If, Then' technique Tell yourself, "If I see pie on the menu, then I'll order the tuna salad." It has to be highly specific and practiced until automatic.

Have you tried these before? Did they work for you? 

I'm giving them a try now, even though we just ordered Girl Scout cookies from Ella. How evil is it of the Girl Scouts to be canvassing for cookies in January?! 

I am excited to test my willpower when those deliciously fattening cookies appear on our doorstep. Tagalongs are like kryptonite to my willpower, but I will stay true and stick to resisting them!

If I fail, follow the cookie crumbs right to the hot tub.

Photo by María Victoria Heredia Reyes. 

I wrote yesterday about a regret I have. We all have regrets. Don't lie and say you don't. I have been thinking about this lately because I sometimes compare myself to others I admire. Once again, something I shouldn't do, but I do - you do it too. 

Heather has girlfriends she gets together with once a year who she met in college. I always hear stories from friends about their college days. I get envious and I wish I had done the same thing, but I didn't. 

I Wish Had...

Fill in the blank, I wish I had ________________________________________________. Now replace "I wish had" with "I am glad I". 

I Am Glad I...

I am glad I went to university for night classes and on weekends because I approached it in a much more mature way. I built relationships with faculty who I am still in touch with today. I excelled in my classes because I took them so much more seriously than I would have out of high school. I did it while I worked during the day and while Heather was pregnant. I remember it fondly. 

I wish I had become a speaker, so I would be in as much demand as some of my peers like Scott Stratten, Mitch Joel, and Chris Brogan. 

I am glad I waited to become a speaker until later because I am much more rehearsed and knowledgeable about the topics I speak on now. I am glad I didn't speak before studying improv with Second City, because I know how to read an audience and deliver content that leaves them thinking, inspired and laughing. 

What about you? 

I Wish Had... 

I Am Glad I...

Photo from Flickr by Guian Bolisay

We all make mistakes at work. Hopefully, they are never serious enough to get you fired. I made my share of mistakes at the companies I have worked for. Thankfully never anything big enough to get me fired (or even reprimanded - much). My biggest mistake had nothing to do with the work. 

My friends will be surprised to learn that I'm more introverted than I let on. People know me as an outgoing guy, usually high-energy, and fun-loving. This is true, mainly around people I know, or when I'm in a situation where people want to speak with me. It is probably part of the reason why I absolutely love to speak at conferences and corporate events.

I regret this...

My mistake when I worked with people was I would choose to eat alone. Heck, Keith Ferrazzi and Tahl Raz even wrote a killer networking book entitled, "Never Eat Alone". The truth is that I did too often, and I regret this. 

“Wherever you are in life right now, and whatever you know, is a result of the ideas, experiences, and people you have interacted with in your life,” - Keith Ferrazzi and Tahl Raz. 

When I would eat solo it would usually be in my car, hidden on a residential street where nobody would find me. I would gobble down my lunch listening to a podcast, reading a book, and writing in my journal. I clearly remember reading Chris Guillabeau's "The Art of Non-Conformity" over Publix sushi in my old Subaru Forester. His book helped me as I moved on to work for myself. 

When I did eat lunch with my co-workers, I would always enjoy their company. We would have plenty of laughs and it would be fun, but I didn't do it enough. Do you?

Your Lunch Challenge

Ask your colleagues to lunch tomorrow. Do this because you want to get to know them better. You probably have more in common than you know. You might find an opportunity to help them with a work-related project. You may even become friends outside of the office, so when you leave the company (and most of us eventually do) you can still keep in touch. Maybe you will meet up over lunch.

I just need to read this ebook before I get started. I'm waiting until next month for the webinar before I launch. I need to take this online course before I do it. Enough is enough!

It's procrastination through education

I had a laugh this morning over coffee, bacon and eggs with the talented Angus Nelson. Angus and I were gabbing away, when we both fell into the trap of recommending educational resources to help us achieve something for our businesses. Even when we had what we needed to get it done.

Illustration from Flickr by Kars Alfrink

It was hilarious because I just wrote a post about the fact that we need to stop learning and start doing. I'm not poo-pooing education specifically, I'm saying that we distract ourselves from doing the work by telling ourselves we have to learn more before we can get started.

Angus was laughing too because he just covered this topic on his podcast, Up In Your Business. In it, he said learning can be like breathing. If we spend too much time inhaling, we will eventually pass out. I love that!

Act on your knowledge. Act on what you already know.

It's fine to seek answers and to improve ourselves with new information. Just don't let the quest for more info become a distraction from getting the job done, when you already know you have what you need.

I was recently a guest on Angus' show. You can listen to that episode below. If you like it, I encourage you to subscribe to Up In Your Business in iTunes. 

Do you leave comments on blogs? This post was inspired by Mack Collier's BlogChat community. 

I enjoyed spending time in Mack Collier's BlogChat last night. Every Sunday night at 8 pm CST, bloggers take to Twitter to participate in Mack's chat about all things blogging. If you partake in Twitter chats, I recommend using TweetChat on desktop. It helps to handle the flow of incoming messages from the Twittersphere. 

I was curious how often everyone comments on other people's blogs. The answers were interesting. Most people claim they leave comments frequently while a few honestly answered that they need to do so more often. I also need to do this more often.

Bloggers (and podcasters) love to receive comments. Comments are from the humans (unless they are spam-bots) behind the analytical data. Comments are from the people who take the time to actually read your posts. I sincerely appreciate those who take the time to comment here. 

@davedelaney Yesterday. I comment regularly on the blogs I follow.

— Leigh Kramer (@hopefulleigh) January 11, 2016

@havertyj @davedelaney for sure, it's a great way to gain attention and reciprocation. Who doesn't love comments!? #blogchat

— Chris Rice (@ChrisRiceCo) January 11, 2016

@havertyj @davedelaney I agree I need to comment more. #blogchat

— Marc Miller (@CareerPivot) January 11, 2016

@havertyj @davedelaney I left a comment a few days ago - on our very own @MackCollier's #blog! #BlogChat

— Steve Case (@JoeBugBuster) January 11, 2016

@davedelaney I do not recall the last time I left comment. Need to change that if I want comments on my blog. #blogchat

— John Haverty (@havertyj) January 11, 2016

@davedelaney I am constantly commenting on blogs, I find it often inspires my writing to write to others. #blogchat

— Kyah Skavinski (@kyskav) January 11, 2016

@davedelaney tuesday

— Mike McAllen (@mmcallen) January 11, 2016

@davedelaney About 45 minutes ago. #blogchat

— Charles G Hill (@dustbury) January 11, 2016

I'd say it has been about a week. Anytime I read a blog, I try to leave a comment. #blogchat https://t.co/68VSF7PAHr

— Brandon (@therookiedad) January 11, 2016

@davedelaney Month back #blogchat

— Abhishek Deshpande (@Fitehal) January 11, 2016

5 Reasons to Leave Comments on Blogs

1. Relationships - by leaving a comment on a blog you get on the radar of the author, more so than simply using social media to share the posts. As I mentioned above, authors are always appreciative of thoughtful comments. 

2. Education - you can learn more if you ask questions about articles in the comments. You can also answer other questions from fellow commenters to help them.

3. Reciprocity - the author may come to your blog to see what you write about and leave comments too. 

4. Conversation - by leaving a comment you can stir conversation with the other readers and author. Perhaps you have something to add or a counter argument to the topic. 

5. Give Thanks - a comment is a simple way to say thank you to the author for writing the post. Favorite blogs die, so take a moment to let the author know you enjoy what she writes. 

I always encourage my clients to have their blog comments turned on. They are sometimes nervous that readers will come and bash their company, product or services. People will bash you online if they choose to anyway. Why not have them do it on your blog, where you can address their comments in the open?  

In order to make yourself leave comments more often, set a goal. For example, you can choose to leave three comments for every single blog post you publish. You could also plan to leave three comments each day of the week as a goal. 

Do you leave comments on blogs (your answer is "yes", if you answer this)?

Do you have a goal for yourself? What makes you stop to leave a comment?

I was laughing the other day as I listened to Ken Bole's Baby Sally podcast. I was chuckling because what he said rang true for me too.  We need to shut up more.

Here's the scenario. You are at a function, and you find yourself speaking with a few people. You are excitedly sharing an entertaining tale when something happens. 

As you are about to share the ending of your story, another person approaches and joins your group. The other people turn away from you and welcome him. Suddenly, they are talking with the new guy. Your story has become a cliff-hanger, but nobody cares.

I laughed at Ken's telling of his story because it has happened to me too. Has this happened to you?

Have a listen below, but be warned of strong language. ;)

Back at the Party...

Miffed, you rush to ruminate on how you can share the conclusion of your riveting story with your disconnected audience. It's usually too late. 

The moral of the story is to ferme la bouche. Instead, be the one who asks for their stories. Become a better listener. The quieter you become the more you hear. 

This animation is featured in The ROI of Nice keynote presentation.

We are all seeking ways to become smarter. At least, I hope we are. We should be.

Today, I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts, Question of the Day. In each episode hosts, James Altucher and Stephen J. Dubner choose a question from Quora and answer it. This week the question was, "What are ways to train your brain to be smarter?"

I feverishly took notes on my iPhone as I walked Max. Remember, when you write down what you learn, you retain the information. Transcribing my notes in this blog post will help me remember what I learned even better. Win, win. :) 

How to Train Your Brain to be Smarter

Read a lot.

I don't read enough books (I read plenty of articles and blog posts), so I've challenged myself to read two books a month this year. I'm sharing how this goes in the NBN Club, where members are also participating. I will share my notes here about each book as I complete it.

Hang out with people who are not like you. 

By expanding your circles, you will broaden your knowledge. Take a look at a site like MeetUp.com, to find upcoming groups you can join.

Don't spend so much time pursuing things that are not important to you.

Dubner quoted Arthur Conan Doyle. 

“I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool takes in all the lumber of every sort that he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to him gets crowded out, or at best is jumbled up with a lot of other things, so that he has a difficulty in laying his hands upon it. Now the skillful workman is very careful indeed as to what he takes into his brain-attic. He will have nothing but the tools which may help him in doing his work, but of these he has a large assortment, and all in the most perfect order. It is a mistake to think that that little room has elastic walls and can distend to any extent. Depend upon it there comes a time when for every addition of knowledge you forget something that you knew before. It is of the highest importance, therefore, not to have useless facts elbowing out the useful ones.” ― Arthur Conan Doyle, A Study in Scarlet.

Don't go with the flow.

Don't worry so much about the conventional wisdom. Don't worry about what everyone is thinking, doing and drinking. Use your brain to be original. Dubner said, "A little bit of truly original thinking can get you so much further than just learning how to parrot all of the seemingly smart things everyone around you says."

Sleep a lot. 

Altucher explained that if you want to be smarter you should sleep a lot. This gives your brain time to build upon the facts that you learn. 

Exercise your Idea Muscle.

I love the concept of your "idea muscle" from Altucher. He wrote about this in depth in his outstanding book, Choose Yourself. I've written about his book here before.

Write ten ideas every day. Share the best ideas with those who can benefit from them. Don't worry if the ideas are silly, the purpose is to get your brain moving to come up with those ideas. I also loved the idea that execution is a subset of ideas. 

Try Warren Buffet's Method.

Warren Buffet has an exercise he recommends people do to find their interests and passions. Simply write a list of 25 things you are interested in. Keep the top five and discard the others. The others will distract you from focusing on the top five, which are obviously the most important since you listed them first. 

Be sure to listen to the whole episode of Question of the Day, to hear about understanding mental shortcuts and more. 

I encourage you to subscribe to Question of the Day in iTunes. 

What are ways you train your brain to be smarter?

Ok, maybe not save your life, but it will greatly improve it. This isn't a productivity blog, and yet I keep finding myself writing about the topic. I suppose it's because it is the new year. Everyone (including myself) is pumped about improving their lives. As for productivity, be sure you are following smart people like Mike Vardy, Erik J. Fisher, David Allen, and Michael Hyatt (whose calendar idea I borrowed for this version). 

My Killer Calendar

I want to introduce you to an idea that is working for me to stay focused. It's also helping me to reevaluate how I am spending my time. The idea is my Killer Calendar. Don't worry, nobody dies. 

I balance many different projects at once. I have incredible consulting and coaching clients at any given time. I also need time to write content here and in the Nice Maker. I also carpool to get the kids to school, gymnastics, clubs, etc. And then there is Max at my side, who seems to always be anxiously ready to head outside for a pee.

My Killer Calendar has helped me to stay focused by dividing my time into specific chunks dedicated to different topics such as, Client Work, Business Development, Family.

3 Steps to Create Your Killer Calendar

1. Along the left side of the Google Calendar interface, you will see My calendars and Other calendars that you are subscribed to. Turn them all off by clicking the box next to each one. Your calendar should be blank.

2. Create a new calendar and call it  "My Killer Calendar". 

2. Add general daily areas of work you need to do, these should seldom change. This isn't a to do list, for that, grab my daily goals worksheet. Carve out blocks of time for each item. You could have sections like, Gym, Team Meeting, Client Work, Personal Development, etc.

Tip: It helps to make these reoccurring in the calendar, so you don't have to create a new item for each day manually.

Here's my Killer Calendar for weekday mornings. 

3. Along the left side of the Google Calendar interface you can select different calendars. Turn your regular calendar back on, so you see how your work week compares to your Killer Calendar. Moving forward, you will adjust your regular calendar to be sure it fits your Killer Calendar template.

The Killer Calendar will help you know what you should and shouldn't be doing each day. It will also help you realize how you can adjust your life to make up more time in a day.

I have decided to shorten my walks with Max on days I drive the kids to school from 60 minutes to 30 minutes. I also now eat breakfast with my kids, and I shower as they are getting ready. This saved me another 30 minutes. I have adjusted my Killer Calendar to reflect this, and now have an extra hour to work on my clients on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Win!

I recommend you print your Killer Calendar, so you can review it through the day to be sure you are staying focused. Mine is taped to my wall over my desk. I aways find printing items helps me get the work done, which is why I made my Daily Goals worksheet for you. 

Do you do this too? If you try it, let me know how it works for you.

I had the great opportunity to reveal a new presentation at Hubspots' Inbound Conference last year. It was a thrill to attend and speak at such a stellar marketing conference with 13,000 attendees (not all at my session, Maron!). My presentation was a 12-minute (TEDx-style) talk about how my life has improved with improv. 

As I put my deck together, I realized the story was too good to just share with the amazing audience in Boston. The lessons I learned studying improv with Second City in Toronto, and performing regularly in a troupe in Ireland, helped me in so many ways. So I decided to write a short ebook.

Improve with Improv breaks down the three key lessons I learned from improv: acceptance, listening better and not to fear failure. My friend, Daniele Rossi, did the wonderful illustrations. Call it a coincidence, but he is now a recent graduate from Second City too. 

I sincerely hope you pick up a copy of Improve with Improv. It's a quick read with some valuable lessons inside. Let me know what you think of it, please. 

GRAB YOUR COPY NOW TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE WITH IMPROV. 

Like you, I have been IT support for my parents for as long as they have owned computers. I recalled a rather trying incident today from several years ago with my dad. This story will make you scream out in frustration. 

It was a cold, grey January evening like tonight was. My phone rang and my dad was on the other end. He was distraught. The dialogue went something like this.

“Hello?”
“David?” 
“Oh hey, dad.”
“I can’t get the computer to print.”

It seemed like a simple request. My dad couldn’t get his printer to print. This can happen to all of us. It could have been a paper jam, or a loose cable, or a driver that needed updating (damn you, Windows). No, the trouble was more confusing and infuriating than you can imagine.

I asked my dad if the power was on. He told me that the light was on. I asked if it had paper in it. He answered that it did, but that wasn't causing the problem. 

Thirty minutes passed, soon after it was sixty minutes. I went through every step to rectify his technological issue, but it still would not print. My dad shared every swear word he knew - multiple times. Even Jesus was likely disappointed with him due to his numerous exclamations of blasphemy. 

The answer will surprise you!

I was exhausted. I was perplexed. What the hell did I miss through this? Why couldn’t I get his printer working? The answer will surprise you. 

“Dad, the printer has paper?”
“Yes!”
“Does it have the power on?”
“Yes. The thing under the desk?”
“Yes.”
“I’m not talking about the goddamned thing that prints on paper!”
“What?”
“The screen. When I type the words don’t print on the screen! What's wrong with you, David?” 

That’s right, it was the monitor all along. My dad meant the words on the screen weren’t printing when he typed on the keyboard. Yep, he never turned on the monitor. THE MONITOR.

My dad has infuriated me before, he has delighted and disappointed me too. He’s a good man, a solid guy, but not always easy to deal with. This was one of those times. I was proud to have helped him find his solution, but I felt completely exhausted and defeated. I was also on the cusp of going postal had we continued the call much longer after the solution was discovered.

How about you?

The problem you are facing could have a clear solution. Test your communication before you begin troubleshooting. And don't ever answer your phone if my dad calls for tech support.