Back in 2021, we pulled the trigger and purchased a hot tub for our screened-in porch. Each time Heather and I submerge in the bubbling 104-degree water, we share a deep sigh of relief and exclaim that it’s the best purchase we’ve ever made. Without the distraction of phones, we can discuss upcoming family plans, what’s going on at work, etc.

I’m very aware of the constant draw and addictive design of smartphones, operating systems, and applications. The big tech companies design their products and algorithms with this in mind. The more time you spend, the more money they can extract from your attention, which is more valuable than your time to advertisers.

Let’s use Facebook as an example. The greater amount of time you spend on Facebook, the more money advertisers pay Facebook for your attention (AKA “engagement”), leaving you with less time to pay your limited attention to more important matters like your loved ones, friends, and communities, and caring for your own mind.

Our hot tub is the one place I completely disconnect from technology (beyond my Kindle). When used solo, it’s my place where I sit, soak, and think. I read, journal, and meditate there, and it brings me great clarity and calm to listen to the birds chirp, watch the sun rise or set, and observe the countless squirrels springing from tree to tree.

FROM faux pas TO REVELATION.

On a recent session, I accidentally brought my phone with me, which was a huge faux pas, but it led to a revelation and a test you can do for yourself with or without a jacuzzi.

On this fateful occasion, I kept mindlessly picking up my phone and searching for whatever popped into my mind. I would quickly realise this and move the phone away from me, only to habitually pick it up again moments later. I laughed at the insanity of noticing it magically reappear in my palm! How did you get here again!?

It’s not just me: according to a Reviews.org analysis, Americans checked their smartphones nearly 186 times a day on average in 2025. I’m getting better at this, averaging 88 daily pickups. Still, that seems like a lot to me.

On my next soak, I was careful to avoid bringing the phone along. This time, I had a plan. For the 45 minutes I would be there, I would honestly note in my journal each time I would have used my phone. For example, let’s say I was reading a book and came across a mention of predictive analytics, which reminded me of the plot of the movie Moneyball. Suddenly, I question myself, who was the co-star with Brad Pitt?

In that distracted moment, I would jot down the question in my journal. Who co-starred in Moneyball? Rather than finding the answer on my phone instantly (Jonah Hill), I would return to reading instead.

Later, it might occur to me that the forgotten actor also starred in the hilarious Superbad with Michael Cera, who was on Arrested Development. This might trigger me to try to recall whether they ever did a reunion episode of that amazing show. I’d jot that question in my journal. Did they ever make an Arrested Development reunion? And so on.

Once I was out of the tub, dried off, and reviewing my journal, I found a list of about 15 questions I had pondered. Realistically, it would have taken me about 2-3 minutes to find the answers to each question on my phone, even with an additional distraction like a notification, tempting video, or yet another question to answer. Now, here’s the math part of the Hot Tub Attention Test.

Liberally speaking, 15 questions X 2 minutes = 30 minutes, or more realistically,

15 questions X 3 minutes = 45 minutes.

Planning a 45-minute soak in my hot tub for calm and clarity would have led me to spend 45 minutes staring into my phone! I would have entered the hot water and felt the bliss for less than a second before picking up my phone and searching for the answer to every random question that popped into my mind. And that’s the kicker, I may not have even noticed the hot water or my calm surroundings. I would have unknowingly wasted both my precious time and attention.

Reviewing my written list of questions made me realise most were pointless. Yes, maybe I had an eureka thought worth investigating, but the majority were mundane. Who cares that Jonah Hill co-starred in Moneyball (no offence, Jonah), but the answer wasn’t worth mindlessly searching for after the fact.

Try the Hot Tub Attention Test

Rinse and repeat my Hot Tub Attention Test for yourself. You don’t need a hot tub. You can try this anytime, anywhere you mindlessly carry your phone. Try it when you sit for a ten-minute meditation practice, when you’re waiting in the car to pick up your kids, when you’re in your bathtub or bathroom, when you're mowing the lawn, or taking an artist’s day.

And if you’re interested in how much time you could be wasting, here’s how to review the number of times you pick up your phone.

How many times do I pick up my phone?

How to Find Your Number of Pickups (iPhone/iPad)

1. Open the Settings app.

2. Tap Screen Time & See All Activity

3. Scroll down to the Pickups section to see your daily/weekly stats.

4. Throw your phone out of the window.

How to Find Your Number of Pickups (Android)

1. Open the Settings app.

2. Tap Digital Wellbeing & parental controls (often a green circle icon).

3. Scroll to how many times you've unlocked the device (pickups).

4. Throw your phone out of the window.

I took the month of March off social media and avoided news to recalibrate and give myself a rest. I did the same in 2020 and found the experience especially rewarding during such a stressful period.

Since I’m back, I thought I would share a few takeaways.

Hardly anyone noticed. Only a handful of people contacted me about my hiatus, don’t worry; my feelings didn’t get hurt. It makes you question the social aspect of social media; we really are slaves to algorithms that keep feeding us and distracting us from our actual friends. Are you paying attention?

Surprisingly, I only saw a slight decrease in referral traffic from LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter to this blog and site and my business site and blog at futureforth.com.

Moving forward, I’ve decided to comment before I like something I see on social media. This means I plan to engage with you much more again. I need to practice what I preach and put the social back into social media.

I’m avoiding the rabbit holes. I have scheduled one hour a day max for social media. This might be done in two thirty-minute increments AM/PM on some days. I will use Freedom to block myself from accessing such sites for the rest of each day to focus on my business, family, and friends.

I quietly celebrated 1,000 days sober during my break. I also resisted posting photos and videos from my recent trips to London, Scotland, and the 12-mile hike we did with friends. Starting today, you can find that #latergram content on my Instagram.

I highly recommend you give your mind a rest. Social media isn’t what it used to be. Nowadays, it’s even hard to know if you’re corresponding with a real person because of bots and the advances of AI. I will focus much more on in-person encounters and actual friendships (with all due respect to my many acquaintances). 

I’ve been thinking a lot about the topic of friendship for some time; I recommend you listen to my chat with Professor Robin Dunar of Dunbar’s Number fame (which I wrote about in my book, New Business Networking) about this topic. He wrote a thought-provoking and data-rich book all about the topic, Friends: Understanding the Power of our Most Important Relationships. I recommend it!

Have you taken digital detox breaks? What was your experience like? 

My biggest takeaway from 2022 was to slow down and focus on perspective. What I learned directly resulted from a steady practice of mindfulness and meditation. The revelation came as I strolled along the lower trail of a State Park.

Radnor Lake is an over 1,300-acre nature preserve on the edge of Nashville. It has always been a favorite since moving to Music City in 2007. I’ve strolled along the tranquil lake paths and up to the more challenging cliffs many times with friends, family, and on my own. It was on my own when the thought of putting things in perspective hit home.

I suddenly felt melancholy and sadness as I noticed young children frolicking around me. It occurred to me that our kids are now teenagers, and the days of entertaining our young ones through the forest were gone. I was feeling lonely.

A lack of connection causes loneliness and is synonymous with perceived social isolation, not objective social isolation. Even living among people you love, you can still feel lonely. My challenges with anxiety weren’t helping me at that moment.

I noticed how happy the parents looked as they laughed at their kids being silly, bouncing through the leaves, and climbing the trees. I asked myself why I was feeling sad. The answer made me realize that my chosen emotion needed to be corrected. It wasn’t sadness that I should be feeling but happiness, but why happiness?

• Happy that these random parents and their children were having fun around me.

• Happy that I took our kids through these same trails many times when they were little.

• Happy that our kids now have memories of their own and enjoy such hikes in their later teenage years.

• Happy that I did this with our kids. I chose to take them on these walks through the woods.

This occasion of walking alone in the woods triggered my reflection, which led to the revelation. I realized that true sadness would be warranted if I had never taken them on the trails. If I had never spent time playing with them through those woods, that regret and sadness would make sense to me.

Slowing down and going for the hike helped me clear my head. The power of perspective made me realize it was a time to celebrate. I remember smiling and feeling great joy as I continued my hike along Radnor Lake.