My friend came over the other day to help me repair a broken showerhead. The shower had been out of commission for months. Six months ago, I decided to try to fix it. I'm not particularly handy.

I did quite well with my repair job but was stuck when I couldn't fasten the showerhead pipe enough to make it point down instead of up. I had ideas to rectify the problem, but I was worried I would strip the thread and break the pipe. So I left it. For six months.

I feared I would break it because I didn't believe in myself. I didn't have the confidence.

My friend's dad is a handy man too. Those talents are passed down from generation to generation. I don't recall ever seeing my dad with a hammer or screwdriver. In addition to no handy inspiration, he also cursed me.

My dad famously once exclaimed, "If someone is going to f*** up, it's going to be Dave." He might have said it more than once, but regardless it stuck in my mind like a white-hot bull brand.

Bull, it took me years to realize it was bull. Heather taught me that. My dad was a prick to me growing up. I was a prick too, but he was the parent, so he earned much higher marks in the prick department.

I think of this constantly with my kids. I can't fool them into thinking I'm a talented handyman, but I can empower them to believe that they can be. That's what I strive for. I'm not a perfect parent (nobody is), but I am always careful not to put them down.

If you have little people in your life, think before you speak. Do the same when conversing with your employees, or friends, or anyone seeking feedback. That line my dad fed me (and my friend who witnessed my embarrassment) slowed my personal progress for many years. It still sticks with me today. 

Be careful with your words

My mum once had a fridge magnet that read, "Love is remembering an unkind word can hurt." It's a good reminder for us all. Be careful with your words. Once they are said, they can only be forgiven, not forgotten.

If you struggle with self-doubt, know that you are not alone. In fact, everyone does to some degree. My old friend, John Morgan, shared some great tips on overcoming self-doubt here.

Photo from Flickr by Frédéric Glorieux.

Have you ever wondered what you are good at? Ten people have the answers. You probably do too. 

Here is an exercise to get a better understanding of your strengths. I borrowed this from Pat Flynn's new book, Will It Fly? Pat referenced Gary Vaynerchuck as someone who has recommended this too. You will have to muster up a little courage and check your ego at the door, but the answers are worth it.

Take a moment to consider ten people who know you quite well. I would skip family. Choose people who you have worked with, old and new friends. Then send each person an email with a message like the one I wrote. 

Hi Jim,

I’m working on a little self-discovery project. Since you know me quite well, I am hoping you will play along with this to help me get some clarity. What do you feel is my unique ability - perhaps a “superpower” that I possess? What would you say that superpower is?

Thanks for your honest reply. It means a lot. 

Most of the replies came quickly and they absolutely meant a lot to me. I copied and pasted each person's answer into a word document, so I could have them all on one page to read. The most common words were: 

Sharing, Talking, Listening, Storyteller, Communication, Connection, Trust.

The words didn't surprise me, but they reminded me of what I am all about. These descriptions of me came from a couple of childhood friends, a former boss and friend, some friends I have known for more than a decade, a few friends who I have known for less. 

Use Your Superpowers Every Day

You should try this for yourself and see what your friends think of you. The important next step is to remember to use these superpowers every day. 

"With great power comes great responsibility." - Uncle Ben.