How to know, respect, and connect yourself.

In a world that often prioritizes speed, productivity, and conformity, it's easy to feel disconnected from our true selves. We often rush through life, barely pausing to reflect on who we are, what we value, and what brings us joy. This reality impacts everyone, regardless of their operating system. The Root Down process will help us better understand ourselves, respect our unique qualities, and forge deeper connections with others.

Understanding the Root Down Process

The Root Down process is a concept inspired by the experiences of individuals with ADHD, who often struggle to fit into a neurotypical world. My method encourages self-discovery, self-respect, and improved connections with others.

Here’s how it works.

Know Yourself - Understanding oneself is the foundation of personal growth and well-being. Knowing your strengths, weaknesses, interests, and values clarifies decision-making and helps you navigate life more effectively. For individuals with ADHD, this self-awareness is often heightened due to the daily challenges we face. However, anyone can benefit from taking time to explore their inner landscape.

When you know yourself, you can make choices that align with your true nature. This reduces inner conflict, boosts self-confidence, and increases overall life satisfaction.

Respect Yourself - Self-respect is the cornerstone of mental and emotional health. It means accepting yourself as you are, flaws and all. The ADHD community often faces stigmatization and misunderstanding, making self-acceptance challenging. Nonetheless, it's a vital step in the Root Down process.

Respecting yourself fosters self-esteem, resilience, and a sense of empowerment. It allows you to set healthy boundaries, say no when necessary, and prioritize your well-being.

Connecting Yourself - Humans are inherently social beings. Building meaningful connections with others is essential for emotional health and personal growth. However, these connections must be based on authenticity, not masks. We must seek out like-minded individuals who understand our unique challenges.

Authentic connections provide emotional support, reduce feelings of isolation, and enrich your life with diverse perspectives and experiences.

The Root Down will transform your workplace team or conference audience. Learn more and say hello here.

Let's talk about ageism

Agesim

I recently interviewed Ashton Applewhite, an internationally recognized expert on ageism. Applewhite has been recognized by the UN and the World Health Organization as one of the Healthy Aging 5050 leaders working to make the world a better place to grow old. She has also written a book, "This Chair Rocks. A Manifesto Against Ageism," inspired by her interviews with people over 80 for a project called "So You Want to Retire?" that aimed to address everyday ageism assumptions.

During the conversation, we discuss the changing nature of work and retirement. We agree that the traditional concept of retirement is becoming obsolete as people live longer and need to retrain and learn new skills constantly. We also agree that work is essential for providing connection and purpose in life, especially for men. The information age has also provided new opportunities for people to work remotely and continue working at any age. We touch on the FIRE (financial independence retire early) movement and how retiring too early can harm some people, particularly business owners.

Language and culture play a role in how retirement is perceived and celebrated.

We spoke about retirement and the judgment that can come with it. The traditional retirement age is obsolete, and that retirement itself needs to be rethought. I acknowledge my privilege in having work I love and control over my schedule. We also mention how language and culture play a role in how retirement is perceived and celebrated. We both agree that aging is not necessarily sad or depressing and the importance of continuous learning and growth.

During the conversation, we discussed how aging is fascinating and touched on fields of study and aspects of the human condition. We also agree that referring to someone as "old" is not inherently insulting but only becomes problematic when attached to value judgments. We then shift to embracing aging and how physical function is not necessarily linked to age. Personal experiences such as my annoying back pain and eye problems are shared to illustrate this point.

We discuss how apprehension about aging is often related to stereotypes and stigma around physical and mental capacity, which is ableism rather than ageism. While physical and cognitive decline is inevitable with aging, it affects each person differently. The negative aspects of aging, such as the possibility of running out of money or ending up alone, are legitimate fears. Still, society tends to only focus on the negative side of aging. I embrace both the positives and negatives of aging and question the notion that everything about getting old is awful while everything about being young is great.

Asking for help should not be shameful, and society should work to promote interdependence rather than independence.

During the podcast, we discuss how society reflexively blames age for various physical issues and how this can be harmful. People should ask for help more often and destigmatize asking for and accepting help. Individuals should remember that everyone needs help at some point, and it is a two-way transaction. Asking for help should not be shameful, and society should work to promote interdependence rather than independence.

We also share a story of an older woman who was offended when a young man offered to help her at a self-checkout machine and explain that the problem is not the offer itself but the assumption that the person needs help solely based on their age or appearance. We emphasize the importance of listening to and respecting the answer when offering help and suggest a kinder approach of offering seats to anyone who might need it rather than solely based on age or disability.

The podcast highlights the need for self-awareness and challenging internalized stereotypes to create a more inclusive and respectful society. During the conversation, we discuss the importance of respecting everyone regardless of age and physical ability. We agreed that ageism is deeply ingrained in Western culture, and we must examine our biases towards aging and physical ability. We also mention the benefits of living in mixed-age communities where everyone has visibility and purpose.

Listen to our full interview on the Nice Podcast.

Last minute speakers in Nashville. What to do when your keynote cancels.

Last minute keynote speakers in Nashville can be tricky to find and even harder to secure. The following are five tips on how to get a Nashville-based keynote speaker booked quickly. Don’t panic, you’re just a click away from finding a replacement speaker in Music City, Tennessee… and breathing again.

Read More

How to stop employee turnover at tech companies

The findings of The Achievers Workforce Institute’s February 2021 survey are sobering. Fifty-two percent of fully-employed employees said they intend to look for a new job this year, up from 35% in 2020. These numbers are especially concerning for the software technology industry who, according to LinkedIn’s most recent study found the industry has the highest turnover rate of 13.2% rate. This figure can be as high as 21.7% for embedded software engineers.

I worked for two fast-growing technology companies and experienced the negative side of growth first-hand. One day, as I was getting a cup of coffee, I noticed a new face preparing her own cup. Her affixed ID badge indicated she too worked there, so I concluded she had just joined our team.

“Hi, I’m Dave, I work in marketing. You must be new.” I smiled and welcomed our new addition.

With a half-hearted chuckle, she replied, “I’ve been working here for four months.” I could tell this was probably not the first belated welcome conversation she experienced in our quick-growing firm. I never saw her again, which left me to conclude she moved on to a different, more welcoming, nicer company.

Success can be a painful journey for your team members. Companies lose their heart as communication and cohesiveness faulters through rapid growth. Your longest and most loyal employees begin to abandon ship because they feel excluded or no longer heard.

A study by The Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) reported that on average it costs a company 6 to 9 months of an employee's salary to replace him or her. For an employee making $60,000 per year, that comes out to $30,000 - $45,000 in recruiting and training costs.

I want to give leaders a look behind the scenes at what goes wrong, and how to fix it. The fact that it takes an average of 51 days to fill an IT role in the US, you simply can’t afford to ignore the turnover. While compensation matters, it isn’t the top factor when it comes to retention. Work-life balance and recognition both rate higher than compensation for retaining top talent.

The Nice Method includes three pillars to leaving you with happier and more connected employees, they are Hear Your Team, Avoid The Wrecks, and Life Outside Your Walls.

When you hear your team members actively listening, you avoid the wrecks that cause churn. When you take the time to bring your people together and you consider life outside your walls, you humanize your team which makes them happier and more connected. Happier teams have longer tenures, so you can stop wasting money on recruiting and training.

The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics found 4 million people quit their jobs in April 2021 — the biggest spike on record. The Nice Method will help you avoid being a part of similar future statistics.

If you’re a fast-growing tech company and you’re experiencing challenges with employee retention you are probably getting one of the Nice Method three pillars wrong.

Step 1. Hear Your Team 👈

Step 2. Avoid the Wrecks

Step 3. Life Outside Your Walls

Be Nice to People. Rivers -> Radio -> Podcast

“I got through! I got through!"

Few things were more exciting in the 1980s than calling your favourite radio station and getting through. I wish I could remember why I had called 1050 CHUM in Toronto, but there I was on hold about to speak live on the air.

The host of the morning show was radio broadcasting legend, Tom Rivers. Rivers was like Toronto’s own Johnny Fever from WKRP.

CHUM’s Creative Director, Larry MacInnis described Tom, “At heart, he was a mischievous twelve-year-old boy in the body of a six-foot-ten, four hundred-pound man-child – a heavyweight talent in every sense of the word.”

I suppose we connected well because I was around twelve-years-old at the time.

After saying something on air, Tom graciously invited me down to the station for a tour. I am willing to bet that 99% of Toronto kids were never given the same opportunity.

I begged my mum, who quickly gave in and scheduled our meeting. Together we travelled down to the popular Top-40 station in her denim blue, 1978 AMC Gremlin. The car even had a 1050 CHUM sticker affixed to the rear window like most cars in Toronto back then.

Tom Rivers and Me and 1050 CHUM radio in Toronto

I remember being mesmerized as I watched Tom in action behind the microphone and cart machines. His kindness and talent for broadcasting must have left an impression on me. In 1995, I graduated from Seneca College having studied radio and television broadcasting. Naturally, I majored in radio.

My love for radio led me to an internship on an internationally syndicated blues radio show called Blues North, hosted by the wonderful Big John Small. My career in radio teetered off after several attempts at getting a job at radio stations in Toronto. It was simply too competitive a market, and I didn’t have the professional drive or networking knowledge in me quite yet.

From Radio to Podcasting

My passion for broadcasting led me to begin podcasting in 2005. We nearly had the first parenting podcast, Two Boobs and a Baby. We were the second parenting podcast after Paige and Gretchen’s Mommycast. I have had several podcasts since then, with NBN Radio ADHD Wise Squirrels being my most recent podcasting endeavor. (updated 12/14/23)

I am thankful for how nice a guy Tom Rivers was. I am a firm believer that the kindness we share today can inspire others tomorrow. Just ask my daughter, who now proudly bears those call letters of yesteryear.

1050+Chum+T-Shirt

You can do this too.

From mentoring to giving a kid a chance, consider how your kindness can help inspire future generations. Blues artist Albert Collins was another legend who did this for me; that story led to me interning for a national blues radio show! Going above and beyond in the smallest of ways may seem simple, but these gestures are like waves that leave ripples in the water for decades.

Think. Do. Say.

Think Do Say book by Ron Tite

I’m writing the next sentences in my best Julia Child voice... Combine a large pot of stellar speaking skills with several dollops of branding and marketing smarts. Mix a fresh bunch of humor, several cups of creativity, sprigs of kindness. Add these ingredients together, bake, and voilà - Ron Tite!

Ron is the president and CEO of Church + State, a creative agency in Toronto. He is also the author of the new book, Think. Do. Say. How to seize attention and build trust in a busy, busy world. I loved it!

I’ve been lucky enough to spend time with Ron over the last several years. We both belong to a speaker mastermind group called Speak & Spill. Ron has also graciously shared ideas and feedback with me. He’s a solid fellow, but let’s get back to that book.

The following are my takeaways from Think. Do. Say. I highly recommend you pick up a copy for yourself if you work with an agency or marketing firm. The book is full of case studies and examples of how we can improve everything we do by focusing on our beliefs, actions, and communication.

Key Takeaways from Think Do Say

Three pillars of great organizations know:

What they think

What they do

What they say

Your clients don’t know where to look and they don’t know who to trust.

Move from being product-focused to purpose-focused.

Believing isn’t enough. You have to act to reinforce your beliefs.

What you do immediately following an integrity gap will say more about your character than what you did before.

Believe in something more important than your bottom line. 

Answer the following questions

What’s your essential do?

Who do you do it for?

What do they want you to do?

Who do you do it with?

It’s easier to come up with a revolutionary idea to topple the establishment when you’re not a part of it.

Want people to look in your direction? Start solving their real problems before someone else does. 

The first step to innovation is improving the efficiency of what you already do. 

Honesty and transparency lead to trust. And trust leads to momentum. 

True authenticity is being comfortable with your imperfections. 

Something we’ve never seen before will get our attention.


I wanted to close this blog post with a Julia Child quote (there’s even one in the book). I found the perfect one that sums up Ron and his work, “Find something you're passionate about and keep tremendously interested in it.”

One last Julia Child quote because I couldn’t resist, “A party without cake is just a meeting.”

Now go order your copy of Think. Do. Say. You will be glad you did.